


Two Julys

by iswyn



Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Frostiron Month, M/M, Snark, now with smut, prompt: alternate universe, prompt: character traits, prompt: fighting together, prompt: firsts, prompt: fluff, prompt: going public, prompt: kinks, prompt: sex with a twist, prompt: special dress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-07 01:41:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1880193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iswyn/pseuds/iswyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's one of the hottest Julys on record in New York, and Tony has been called to clean up after Doom. AGAIN.</p><p>When he finds Loki at the scene of the crime, it can't get worse. It can, however, get much, much better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Snark

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve decided to try to fit all of the prompts into one larger fic, so we’ll see how that goes!
> 
> I apologize in advance, this is utter crackfic, largely written to amuse myself with some of the more common tropes in the ship –or in fanfiction in general, really. It will not feature pregnant Tony eating ice cream with pickles and maraschino cherries, but anything short of that is fair game. Explicit tag won't happen until chapter three, but it'll be there. Geez, I write a lot of porn...
> 
> Thank you to Agentromvnoff and Plumadesatada for being lovely people and making my work so much better.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: character traits

No one ever thinks about what New York is like in July. You get those romantic ice skating pictures in December, and the Christmas pictures of giant lighted trees and the ball dropping in Times Square at the end of the year.

You don’t get pictures of ridiculous heat and humidity that make you want to strip naked and lie in a tub of ice. Which may or may not have been what Tony was doing when the call came down.

That was so fucking annoying. From the fact that it dragged him away from his ice to the fact that it was ‘Doom.’ There was absolutely no way that was his real name, by the way. It didn’t matter what he told anyone, or even what his (obviously fake) birth certificate said. There was no real person whose name was Victor Von Doom. It was like I.P. Freely, or Amanda Hugenkiss. Only not as funny, and with more lame robots.

The problem was that it wasn’t just robots. It was also magic. And Tony could handle the robots. They were mediocre at best, and he could slice through dozens of them like tissue paper. The fact that they were made with magic as well made it a problem. If he didn’t know how they worked, he couldn’t come up with a real answer to the continuing problem. It was like a bad hack and slash video game, where he killed the damned things, and then they reappeared and he had to kill them again. Only the property damage was real, and had to be paid for.

And for some reason, damned ‘Doom’ hated New York. Okay, not some reason. Reed Richards reason. Something about who had a bigger brain, or a bigger dick, or something. Well Tony could have told them that he outmatched them both in both of those departments, but this seemed personal more than serious as far as competitions went.

Also, it was just marginally possible that Richards was smarter than Tony.

Anyway, Richards just happened to never be available when Doom was trying to destroy New York, so it fell to the Avengers. Kicking Doom’s ass was fine with Tony, he just wished it wasn’t cleaning up someone else’s mess. He also wished it didn’t feel like Richards always got the credit for it in the end, when he’d been off having a picnic with his wife and weird brother in law in the ‘negative zone.’

Anyway, doombots.

Seriously, arrogant much? Who names their robots after themselves? The Iron Man suit wasn’t called a Starksuit. That was reserved for Tony’s personal birthday suit, which he privately thought was probably the most impressive of the three options. (doombots, Iron Man, and _the Starksuit_.) Four, if you counted Doom and his lame need to constantly wear a metal mask. He probably wasn’t even ugly under there, just totally average. Tony figured not much would piss that dude off more than being average.

So doombots were attacking an ice cream stand in Central Park or something like that, and it meant that the Avengers got the call.

Tony suited up and headed down to central park.

Okay, maybe not an ice cream stand. Just… ice.

Tony landed in the middle of the ice patch, careful not to fall on his ass and look like an idiot. Right there in the middle of central park, in the middle of July, there was ice, everywhere. The trees were frosted over, the ground was slick with instantly condensed humidity, and there, in the middle of it all, was… Loki? Was that really Loki?

Loki, Thor’s psychotic baby brother, in the middle of this icy mess. He was wearing fucking leather pants — what was it with Asgardians and leather? — and a black shirt that was only half buttoned. His hair was shorter than before, a little spikey, and it looked wet. He looked like someone had interrupted him getting ready to go onstage at a rock concert.

Oh yeah, and he was blue.

Why the hell was he blue? Tony sure as hell didn’t remember that being the case before, and it seemed like the kind of thing you’d remember. “Hey there, tall dark and… blue. You working with Doom now?”

Loki scowled at him. “Are you mocking me, Stark?” he asked in the sort of tone that implied ‘ _you’d better stop’_ rather than ‘ _I’m actually curious about this_ ’. Tony had learned the difference from dealing with women.

“Aren’t I always mocking you, Sweetcheeks?” Okay, maybe reminding him of that was a bad plan. Tony was like, the king of bad plans, though, so it made sense in a Tony sort of way. The Asgardian clenched one hand and it was suddenly covered with ice. Yikes. Maybe backing down was in order. A lot of backing down, and fast. Tony threw up his hands. “Whoa there, Papa Smurf, didn’t mean to piss you off. No windows around to throw me out of.”

Loki grinned like the edge of a knife. “Then perhaps we should see how far I can throw you without as much aid from gravity.” A wickedly sharp knife, just itching for blood.

Tony took an involuntary step back. “Um, I think I’ll skip that.”

Loki looked thoughtful for a moment. “If you insist. I thought you were a scientist? All about finding the answers to the great questions of the universe?” Tony would have sworn that the bastard was serious, if not for that wicked grin at the end.

Tony took a tentative step closer, thinking that maybe the whole throwing thing was just a joke. Hoping, really. “Okay, I think a more pressing great question of the universe right now is the one about whether you’re working with Doom.”

“Oh, please. Do you truly think I would work with such a dull creature?” Loki put his hands on his hips, and Tony could wondered where the hell the photographers were. Someone needed to capture this for posterity. “Doom is a mediocre user of both magic and technology, going by a name that no mother would have cursed him with, and possessing absolutely no sense of style. Do you truly think so little of me, Metal Man?”

Oh Gods, those hips in low-riding leather pants, blue hands planted on them. Just a few more buttons undone on that shirt, and…

Huh? Oh, Doom, right.

Tony brought one gauntlet up to his face as though stroking his chin in thought. “Well you are both crazy megalomaniacal villains. But I guess you’re capable of speaking in first person, so there is that.”

“Oh indeed. Loki quite agrees.” There was that wicked grin again, and Loki laughed.

Tony couldn’t help it, he burst into laughter, too. “Well Iron Man likes fighting Doom better anyway.”

He could have sworn Loki pouted at that. “What’s so special about Doom?”

“He’s got no imagination, makes him easier to beat. Plus, he’s not distracting.” Tony, thinking that the suit would shield the direction of his gaze, took in the half-dressed man in front of him, and then did it again. No one had a right to look that good in black and blue.

Loki noticed anyway. “Why Mr. Stark, I thought you were a gentleman!”

“Who the hell told you that? They lied.” Tony took a step toward the trickster. What the hell was he doing? Flirting? The last time he’d done this, it had ended with him becoming far too closely acquainted with the sidewalk a few hundred feet below.

Loki pulled his arms up to cross over his chest, somehow managing not to cover even a bit of his exposed skin. “So you go about ogling everyone you meet?”

Aw, screw it. He was caught. Might as well throw caution to the wind, and hope that Loki didn’t do the same to him. “The hot ones in leather pants and practically no shirt? Fuck yes.”

There was a sudden chill in his suit as Loki disappeared and then appeared behind him, and put his hands around his waist. What the hell? “That is completely offensive, Stark. I should be able to wear whatever I want without your judgement. And I am certainly not ‘hot’. I’m quite cold.”

Whoa. He was not kidding about the cold. Just by standing there, he had lowered the ambient temperature to resemble a refrigerator. Suddenly, cold was the new hot.

Tony put his hands up. “No judgement here. You go around naked if you want, as long as I’m allowed to look. I’ll even promise to keep my hands to myself, unless you don’t want me to.”

Loki’s voice became a whisper that seemed to transcend the suit. Tony could have sworn he felt the chill breath on his ear. “Oh, I don’t think that will be necessary.”

Tony’s heart almost stopped, and the problem wasn’t the fact that a megalomaniacal villain was standing behind him. Well, it was the problem, but for all the wrong reasons. And wow, did that chill feel amazing with his overheated skin. The suit had AC, but when it was 99 degrees Fahrenheit outside, it didn’t help that much.

Wasn’t cold traditionally thought of as unsexy? Cause Tony’s anatomy was disagreeing with that assessment right then. “You wanna come back to my place, Cold Stuff? I’ve got a bathtub full of ice with your name written all over it. They keep saying we’re supposed to try to keep cool in this heat wave and all. I could sure use some help with it.”

He could see Loki’s smirk in his peripheral camera. “Do you not have air conditioning for that, Stark?”

Tony shook his head. “Problem with the arc reactor. AC takes up a ton of energy in this kind of heat, and the reactor’s still not back to optimum levels… you know, after you messed with it.”

One of those perfect black brows arched. “Are you blaming me for your overheated state?”

“Damn right. I think you ought to do something about that.” Tony’s panting was suddenly nothing to do with the temperature.

Loki took a half-step back. “I thought we were dealing with Doom?”

Tony matched his half step to stay right next to the half-naked oasis of winter. “Fuck Doom. Or better yet, fuck me. Doom can have Central Park. I never liked it here anyway.”

Loki put a hand on each of his shoulders, and Tony felt cold seep into his bones. All he could see in his peripheral camera was Loki’s lips, leaning to whisper. “You should watch what you say, Stark. I might just take you up on an offer like that.”

Suddenly, he was surrounded by a green glow, and Loki was gone again.


	2. Doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: fighting together

Usually this was where other Avengers showed up, you know, to do their job and vanquish evil and stuff. This time, Tony was all alone in the middle of an icy patch in Central Park, swiftly being surrounded by doombots. Fucking doombots. “Um, Jarvis?”

“Sir?” Jarvis’ calm voice was always a good thing, but that wasn’t going to keep him from being the center of a doombot dogpile in about a minute.

“Jarvis, where the hell is everybody else?” Call Tony crazy, but he was pretty sure that the purpose of a team was to back each other up.

There was a moment’s hesitation. “It would seem that they are all otherwise engaged, Sir.”

“What?” Okay, not good. He was alone to face an army of doombots? Fuck, he wanted Loki back. Or he wished he’d seriously dragged him off to use him as his personal cooling system back at the tower. Mmm… cold Loki.

A cleared throat behind him made him jump. “Are you going to stand there until they kill you, Stark, or are you going to use my little gift?”

Wait, Loki was still here? Cue Loki bathtub fantasy once again. Wait, gift? That was when he noticed that he was still glowing green. He thought it had been some teleportation afterimage, but it wasn’t. It was like some kind of green cloud that followed his movements.

He shrugged. “I dunno, Crazyhorse, I thought maybe your ‘gift’ was just an LSD flashback.”

“Are you actually making a horse joke while I’m helping you?” The voice sounded bored and maybe disgusted, but not angry. Tony could do bored and disgusted. Hell, in that particular leather pants and practically no shirt getup, Tony would do pretty much anything.

He shrugged, and took a swing at the nearest bot. “I don’t know, Papa Smurf, you tell me. Are horse jokes applicable?”

The doombot went down, no surprise. So did the one behind it, and the one behind that, though, which was slightly more surprising. His punch had thrown Loki’s magic and taken down three bots at once.

Cool!

He tried it again, and the effect was the same. Then, his scientific mind got to working. Magic: waves or particles? He swung instead of punching, making sure to put plenty of torque into the movement. It… radiated. Sweet Baby Einstein, it was like light. He wondered how long the effect would last, and if Loki would let him study it.

“Stark? I realize the green sparkles are pretty, but you need to pay attention to what you’re doing.” Now Loki was sounding downright amused. He could definitely live with amused. Literally.

“So that’s a no-go on the horse thing?” He decided to be cheeky, and see what it would get him.

Loki sighed. “I am not now, nor have I ever been in a sexual relationship with a horse. I did not give birth to Odin’s steed.”

Tony sighed sadly. “Can’t tell you how much that disappoints me, Beautiful.”

Ignoring the fact that Tony had spoken at all, Loki continued, his voice slightly put upon. Tony had a sudden suspicion that he’d put up with this line of questioning before. “I have not, in fact, ever given birth to anything. It seems like a painful procedure, and I would have to be quite impressed with someone before being willing to stay shapeshifted into a form with a womb for long enough to bear a child.”

“Wow. Now that is way more information than expected.” Tony continued laying out doombots left and right. He could seriously get used to this magic thing. “So you could be a woman for nine months, and have a baby?”

“If I so wished.” That smooth voice was downright dubious now, though. “I have lived for over a thousand years, though, Stark, and not yet met a male who impressed me enough to make me wish to.”

“Well jeez, sweet thing, what are you waiting for, a marriage proposal?” One of the doombots took a swing at the back of Tony’s head, something he registered too late. Before the blow connected, the bot exploded in a fountain of green smoke.

Loki had just saved his ass.

“To begin with, yes. And a proper wedding. And a male capable of caring for children. And not an Asgardian.” Wow. He wondered if Loki kept a list in his diary or something. He has to be rich, and pretty, and nice, and buy me flowers…

Tony started laughing. It gave another doombot an opening on his left flank, but again, Loki cut it down before it hit. Tony swung at the next bot in his range, and then on the backswing, took the opportunity to elbow one creeping up behind him. Well, walking. Doombots couldn’t really creep.

“You find this amusing, mortal?” Oops, anger was making a comeback.

“No, just surprised is all. Never figured you for the marrying kind.” That was plausible, right? Thor had never mentioned anything about Loki being a telepath.                                                                                                                                              

“I believe ‘not the marrying kind’ is your area of expertise, Stark.” The bot right in front of Tony detonated in a fine green spray. Yikes. How had Loki lost the battle of New York again? Right, big battle not the same as little one. Also, poor planning.

Well, Tony knew all about poor planning.

“Speaking of ‘not the marrying kind’, wanna come back to Stark Tower for a drink when we’re done here?” He actually got to grab two bots by the heads and smash them together. It was like a cartoon. It was awesome. Especially when the glowing green magic on his hands shot through the crushed heads and obliterated three more bots that had been behind them.

The last bot fell backward when a green dart shot past Tony and into its chest. “Offering me another drink you won’t follow through on, Stark? You really shouldn’t get my hopes up only to dash them again.”

Tony turned to look at him. “Sorry, Sweetheart, didn’t know I’d gone and gotten your hopes up last time.”

Loki was actually sitting in a tree. He was surveying the scattered remains of doombots with disgust. “Indeed. I can imagine to be the story of your life. All front and no follow through.”

“I’d be happy to follow through with anything you like, now that the city’s safe for democracy again.” Tony flipped up his faceplate and grinned at the still-blue sex-god-rockstar.

Loki leapt down from the tree, landing on his feet like a particularly graceful cat. “I suppose, now that my apartment isn’t in imminent danger, I could take you up on your offer.”

Apartment? Holy shit, Loki lived in New York. No wonder he’d been defending Central Park. Tony could get used to having a ~~hot~~ cold smurf who backed him up in a fight around. It was better than a bathtub full of ice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is short and sweet, as obviously, action writing is not my thing.
> 
> Guess what's next and twice as long? Yep. Smut. 
> 
> Thanks for comments and support, and many thanks to Agentromvnoff and Plumadesatada for helping me make this all my writing can be.


	3. Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Sex with a twist. Hope it's twisty enough!

He honestly didn’t expect Loki to show up.

It was one thing to fight together – he did that with all of the Avengers. It was another to flirt like a madman – he did that with pretty much anything that moved. It was something else entirely to sleep with a guy who occasionally tried to take over New York, or the world, or the local Starbucks. Or maybe it had been Doom with the Starbucks. Or maybe that had been a whiskey-fueled dream that also involved technicolor fairies.

The point was, Tony hadn’t expected half naked Loki to be lounging on his sofa when he’d arrived back at the tower. Jarvis was on it, though. “He just arrived, Sir, and said you were expecting him?”

“Um… yeah,” Tony answered Jarvis as the platform slowly removed his suit. This was a disturbingly familiar scene. Of course, Loki wasn’t carrying the Glowstick of Destiny anymore, and instead of being terrified and turned on, Tony was mostly just turned on.

“Given the circumstances in the park, I thought perhaps you _were_ expecting him. Would you prefer if I called the Avengers?” Jarvis sounded somewhat disapproving.

“You mean you don’t watch every little thing I do, J? You didn’t hear me invite him home?” Tony scowled. “And forget calling them. They probably wouldn’t even show up if I needed them to. _And I don’t.”_

Loki smirked, obviously having heard at least part of the conversation. “They do seem to have abandoned you to my mercies, hmm?”

“If your mercy is what I need, I think we can both agree that I’m pretty screwed.” Tony pretended his usual confidence and strode behind the bar. “So, I’m being the gentleman I failed to be when you threw me out the window. Didn’t know bad manners offended you so much. What’ll you have, Beautiful?”

Loki quirked an eyebrow. “Something cold. Your climate is ridiculous.” Tony noticed that Loki didn’t comment on the inappropriate nickname, but kept his mouth shut about it.

“Okay, how about old reliable?” He pulled out his favorite scotch, and two tumblers. “It’s a little barbaric to put ice in it, but desperate times and all that. Plus, I think I’ll avoid insulting you by offering a frou-frou girly drink.”

“Probably for the best. For now.” Loki agreed. “Wouldn’t want to have another disagreement, when the afternoon has been going so smoothly.”

“By disagreement, you mean defenestration? I know, potato, potahto.” Tony handed Loki the second glass, and held his own up to his cheek, trying to absorb the chill.

“I do not know what a potahto is, but that is indeed what I mean.” He took a healthy sip of scotch, his eyes on Tony’s glass. “And I believe I was offered ‘a bathtub full of ice with my name on it,’ was I not?”

Ice. Yes, Ice was a good thing. Tony reached out and grabbed the blue hand that wasn’t occupied with a glass of scotch, and started to tug him toward the bathroom. Gods, his skin was blissfully cool. The hand was immediately yanked away, and Tony looked nervously up to see if he was headed for the window again. Instead, Loki appeared to be inspecting his hand. Not his own hand – Tony’s. After a cursory inspection, he reached down and picked up Tony’s hand with his own.

“Um, something wrong?” Tony was undeniably nervous. Wanting to have sex with someone and trusting that they didn’t want to kill you were completely unrelated in his book. “We don’t have to hold hands or anything, I just usually act before thinking. Guess you know that…”

“Indeed.” Loki agreed, apparently finished inspecting Tony’s hand. He took Tony’s hand again and motioned in the direction Tony had been heading. “Lead, Stark.”

Tony grinned. “You got it, Ice Man.”

Loki gave him an odd look, but said nothing at all, allowing himself to be lead into the master bathroom.

Tony had indeed filled the bathtub with ice. He’d ordered three dozen bags of ice to be delivered in the morning, and he had pretty much planned hang out in the bathroom all day. Then, of course, the call.

When Loki saw the ice, his eyes lit up like Christmas. He set his drink on the counter, and before Tony even had time to say anything – and that was saying something – Loki had ripped his shirt over his head and was toeing his boots off. That was novel. Tony usually had to put a little more effort into getting his dates naked. Loki, on the other hand, was already moving on to the button fly on those damned sexy leather pants. Tony almost wanted to slow him down, but he guessed that asking for a striptease was a little much.

So he just watched as Loki slipped those tight pants down over his hips, leaving himself standing naked in the middle of Tony’s bathroom. Gods, that ass. Tony was definitely not above sneaking a peek in the mirror to see the bits facing away from him. Then he looked up to find Loki’s smirk aimed back at him in the mirror.

“Enjoying the show, Stark?” Loki casually turned to lean against the edge of the bathtub.

It took a minute for Tony’s brain to connect to his tongue. “Well, it’s obvious you don’t do this for a living… but the goods and the enthusiasm more than make up for it.” Okay, maybe his brain hadn’t actually connected.

Fortunately, Loki seemed amused. “I assure you, the enthusiasm is all for this.” He reached out and trailed his fingers lovingly over the ocean of ice.

“I can live with that. For now.” Tony figured with all the flirting, he was allowed to be a part of this ice love-fest. “You want a towel or something? I mean, the ice is great and all, but it gets to be a bit much after a while.”

Loki looked amused. “Do you need something to protect you from the ice, Stark?”

“Unless I want to get frostbite on my unmentionables.” Tony offered glibly.

Loki glanced down at his own body. “You find me warmer than the ice?”

“In every possible way…” Tony let his eyes roam freely, since it didn’t seem to offend Loki.

“Indeed? Well then, I can think of much better ways to freeze your… _unmentionables_. I’ll protect them from the cold.” Loki leaned back onto the pile of ice, letting himself settle slightly into it. He crooked a finger, summoning Tony to him. “Strip first, though, if you please.”

Tony did not have to be asked twice. He stripped even faster than Loki had. The promise of cold _and_ sex was just too much. He almost tripped over the leg of his pants in his haste to get himself over to the giant blue sex god.

“Don’t break yourself, Stark. I’d hate to only get half of what you offered.” Loki’s shark smile made Tony wonder if he’d just let Tony lie on the floor dying while he lay on the mountain of ice. That was what Jarvis was for, though. He’d call for an ambulance. Probably.

“Believe me, you’ll get it all,” Tony snarked at him, then wondered at the logistics of that. He wasn’t much for bottoming with men, but the only ways to top in this situation seemed highly likely to end with a trip to the hospital. And on the other hand, being full of ice cold… yeah. He might be cool with being bottom this once.

Loki watched him with an amused expression, and reclined further onto the ice. “Are you just going to stand there all day getting hotter and hotter, or are you planning to come down here and do something about it?”

“So you think I’m hot, huh?” Tony grinned, edging over to the bathtub.

Loki grabbed a hand and yanked Tony down to sprawl on top of him. “I should think that this,” he thrust his growing erection up into Tony’s thigh, “Would speak for itself on that matter. I can’t resist a man with a bathtub full of ice.”

“I’ll have to make sure I’m the only guy in town who has one, then.” Tony said without thinking.

Loki laughed. “So possessive, Stark? And on a first date.” His hands rested on Tony’s thighs, nice and cool, his thumbs making small circles on the pale flesh there.

“What can I say? I want to have exclusive rights to the things I like, and believe me, no one else has a tub this big or full of ice.” He joked in return.

Time to test if this situation was serious, or some bizarre joke. Either way, Tony had been caught doing worse things. He sifted his hands into the slowly melting ice until they were freezing and a bit wet. He’d left the drain open so that the water would mostly drain away, since a bathtub full of ice and a bath in ice water were decidedly different feelings. 

He pulled his hands out of the ice and ran them over Loki’s chest. It felt warm to his freezing hands, and the bizarre temperature differentials were confusing his body deeply. This, in turn, turned him on.

Hey, he was Tony stark. Watching paint dry might make him a little horny sometimes. It wasn’t just… Come on, it was bathtub full of ice and a freezing hot sex god when the temperature outside was starting to resemble a biblical hell.

Who wouldn’t find that sexy?

Loki seemed to agree, since he arched up into Tony’s freezing hands. “Like that, Cold Stuff?”

Loki’s deep red eyes snapped open. He let out a growl that somehow both terrified and turned Tony on even more, and reached up and grabbed Tony by the neck. Well that was familiar. This time when he pulled Tony’s face forward, though, he forced their lips together in a strangely primal sort of kiss.

 _Huh,_ Tony thought to himself. _I’m kissing a dude. Had sex with dudes before, but kissing? Not so much. He kisses WAY different than a girl. Fuck, this is hot. Or cold. Both._

After a long moment, Tony realized that while his mind was totally still involved in the kiss, pressing his lips hard against Loki’s, his body appeared to be trying to escape. His hands were pushing desperately against Loki’s chest, and his head kept jerking back into Loki’s hand. Oh, breathing, right.

He pulled his head away and gasped for air, Loki staring up at him with those eyes red like burning coals. How had he ever thought them emotionless? They sure weren’t now.

Loki stared at him with those intense eyes as he picked up a piece of ice and set it against Tony’s throat, then slowly slid it downward. He skipped the reactor when he reached it, but not Tony’s… whoa, cold! For some reason, Tony’s body was okay with this, and he thrust uncontrollably forward into Loki’s hand.

Loki grinned at him. “Eager, Stark?”

“Fuck, yes.” Tony leaned down and ran his hands over Loki’s chest once again. Because his hands had warmed, it felt cooler. He reached to the edge of the tub for an untouched piece of ice and popped it into his mouth. Grinning at Loki, he pulled his body back and slowly lowered his face to groin level. Slowly, and holding Loki’s eyes with his own, he wrapped his lips around that beautiful cool dick, and swirled the ice cube around it.

Loki’s head fell back with an obscene moan, and his hands threaded into Tony’s hair, urging him on.

Christ, it was like a cool blue popsicle. He took a deep breath and pushed down as far as he easily could, then swirled the ice cube around in his mouth. Loki’s hands tightened in his hair and pushed, so he figured that this was a good thing. He pulled up for a second – must remember to breathe – and then went back to work on his Lokisicle.

When the heat of his mouth had melted the ice, he pulled back and reached for more, only to have Loki pull him forward by the hair. “No. Sex, now.”

“Um, yeah… about that.” Tony wasn’t sure how to address the niceties of whose what went where… He was Tony Stark, after all. It had always been his, or at least his choice. And he was kind of prepared to concede, but he didn’t want Loki to think he was some kind of pushover.

“Less talk, more sex.” Loki kept the hand in his hair and pulled his face back in for a kiss. “Unless you’re backing out again…”

“No! Not backing out!” Tony put his hands up in supplication. “Just not exactly sure how, you know…”

Loki snorted. “You cannot convince me that the great Tony Stark has never taken a cock before. Not after that impressive display of skill.”

“Well, once.” Tony was a bit flustered. “It’s just not exactly my usual thing. So-”

“Straddle me.” Loki ordered calmly.

Unthinking, Tony did so. And then there was… something… slick but not water slipping into his ass. That was beyond bizarre. Loki followed it up with a finger, and it was almost as magical. In seconds, Tony went from slightly hesitant to riding Loki’s fingers for all he was worth. Motherfucker had experience making men turn into putty, Tony decided.

Two fingers in, Tony was done. “Just fucking do it already!”

Loki just laughed, and continued what he was doing. Then, another finger. Jesus, that was a lot. Maybe it was a little early to ‘just fucking do it’. He was pretty sure that obnoxious sound was himself whining, then there was a… he didn’t know how to describe it. A sensation? Where Loki’s cool fingers were slipping inside… oh god. Oh GOD. He’d always thought that whole prostate thing was a myth.

“Jesus fuck, Loki!” He shoved himself hard against those amazing talented fingers.

Loki’s voice was calm and measured. “If you go off now, Stark, it won’t stop me from finishing this.”

Tony’s eyes flew open and took in Loki in all his blue glory. He was not fucking kidding around. If Tony came, he was still getting fucked. Those fingers hadn’t stopped moving, though. Shit. He pressed himself across Loki’s chest and wriggled away from the fingers a little. He whimpered – Tony Stark whimpered! – when Loki didn’t immediately slow his fingers.

One cold blue hand brushed his cheek. “Are you ready for me now, Stark?”

“No.” Tony pushed away from him a bit. “Nobody who calls me Stark puts their dick in me. It’s a rule I have.” One he’d just made up, but he thought it was valid.

“You would prefer I come up with one of your ridiculous nicknames?” Loki looked like he was considering this for a moment. “Pretty-boy has a certain ring to it, does it not?”

He’d known he was going to pay for that ‘beautiful’ comment. “I called you Loki!” he whined.

“So you did… Tony.” Loki wrapped one cold hand around his face, and pounded into him with the fingers of the other. Oh god. His hand was doing that thing again. The thing with the _feeling_. “Better? Are you ready now?”

Tony couldn’t even bring himself to respond. He just wiggled his ass toward Loki’s dick, whimpered, and nodded.

Loki grinned. “I thought so.”

In slow motion, he pulled his fingers out of Tony, eliciting a moan. Tony wasn’t sure if he was moaning in frustration or excitement. He had a suspicion that sex with Loki was always like this. Finally, after what seemed like excruciating minutes of waiting, Loki slid the head of his dick into Tony.

So cold! Tony had no idea what Loki was doing so it wouldn’t freeze, but oh gods, it was perfect. Cold, and slick, and just enough friction to make it not-quite-painful. The other time hadn’t been like this. Maybe he was holding the human guy to unreasonable standards, though.

Loki wrapped his hands around Tony’s waist, searing hot despite how cold they were. “Sit up and ride me, _Tony_.”

Tony unthinkingly complied with the order. The heat must have fused the circuits in his brain. Or, you know, he was just Tony Stark having sex. He sat up and started moving, incredibly slowly at first, fully expecting discomfort to start any minute. More movement had been more unpleasant last time.

After a moment, Loki shifted his hips and pushed Tony into a different position, and there it was again – that pressure, that amazing, unfamiliar feeling of something unidentifiable in the pit of his stomach. He closed his eyes and just let Loki’s guiding hands take over, and it got even better. He refused to acknowledge that it was him making that ridiculous noise, and that this was Loki he was having sex with, and just let it happen.

When the icy hand found its way to his cock, the keening moan got even louder and he started moving on his own again, faster, harder. He ignored the chuckle beneath him and leaned back to brace his hands on the edge of the tub to stop the ice from shifting his position. The hand moved in time with him, encouraging him to speed his movements, and he started hearing panting beneath him instead of amusement.

The hand’s movement stuttered for a moment, and Tony thrust forward impatiently, only to find himself pushed down hard on the icy cock with just one hand on his right hip. The effortless control of his whole body with one hand… Tony tried desperately to buck upward into the hand that was still stroking him, only to be thrust into from beneath with such force that his whole body was jarred. The only thing that kept him from moving up was the hand on his hip, which gave it a sudden bruising force as he was thrust into again and again, hitting that same damned spot inside again, and...

Tony practically screamed out his orgasm, head thrown back, eyes tightly closed in bliss. The body beneath him kept right on pushing there, there, there, and he was afraid he was going to cry from the sudden overstimulation when there was a rush of cold in his belly that made his eyes fly open. Oh god, that was Loki's…

He panted for breath, staring down at the icy blue Asgardian beneath him. Loki was watching him intensely through red eyes that held some odd emotion Tony couldn’t place. He was suddenly pulled down to the cold chest of the man beneath him, and Loki used that insanely strong hand to grip his hair and pull his head to the side. Then he bit into Tony’s neck with surprisingly sharp teeth.

It hurt, and he should be protesting, but he just couldn’t find the energy or the desire to do so. He was pretty sure Loki had drawn blood, but he just continued to lay there resting against Loki’s chest and panting.

Loki pulled his mouth away after a moment, and murmured something in a language Tony didn’t understand. It sounded oddly affectionate and comforting. Usually he was the one… oh, who was he kidding? He never did that. No one had ever done that in his presence. It was like a chick flick thing, wasn’t it? Whatever. It was kind of nice. Especially if Loki was going to take a bite out of him first, he figured he deserved the comfort.

Absently, he wondered how he was going to explain the wound. Eh. Whatever.

He tried to lift his head, but Loki’s hand held it in place, face still nuzzling against his neck. It was kind of hard to take issue with that. He was cool, and comfortable, and utterly relaxed.

“Hmm?” Came the curious sound from above him.

He smiled serenely. “You know, I hear it’s supposed to get up to a hundred and three tomorrow.”

The chuckle from above was the last thing he remembered before he fell asleep, still laying on top of Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first jotun!Loki, yay! Temperature play is shockingly hard to write, for some reason.


	4. Captain Asgard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt: special dress
> 
> No, Tony isn't dressed as Captain Asgard.. but someone is dressed as the good Captain.

So yeah, he had sex with Loki.

Actually, he had _a lot_ of _amazing_ sex with Loki over the next few weeks. The weather report kept saying 95, or 99, or worse, and he kept filling his bathtub with ice. Like magic – well, he supposed it actually _was_ magic – Loki appeared every afternoon just after lunchtime, and they had incredible sex. Tony refrained from complaining that he was always ‘on the bottom,’ figuratively speaking. The sex was just too damned good to whine about. He was a little sore most of the time – some days a lot sore – but it was more than worth it.

Then the heat wave started to subside, and things got awkward really fast. It’s not that he wanted to stop having sex with Loki. The opposite, actually. He wanted to get Loki to come around just to be… together. No, not like _together-together_ , just like sex-together, but without the ice. He wasn’t trying to ask for something girly, he just wanted Loki to keep coming for the sex.

The lack of a heat wave was cramping his sex life, basically.

So one afternoon when the temperature wasn’t going to get past eighty, Pepper told him his ice fetish was getting out of hand – and she cancelled his standing order. He was at an immediate loss.

How was he going to lure Loki out without the presence of the great throne of ice? (It was a throne Loki was after, wasn’t it?)

This is where any sane person would have stopped and considered their motives, or sought therapy, or something healthy like that. Tony? He just wanted the sex. What, other than a giant pile of ice on a hot day, could he offer a power-hungry mad god from another dimension?

He’d certainly seemed to enjoy gnawing on Tony’s neck. It hadn’t even come up with the team yet; they assumed the bandages on his neck were for just another battle injury. He was a little concerned about how they would react when it didn’t go away, or it did, and revealed a perfectly oblong scar that was obviously a bite wound. Eh.

Tony had doubts as to whether offering up his neck like the heroine in a bad vampire movie was going to do the trick, though. Loki just wasn’t sparkly enough for that, nor Tony melodramatic enough. Maybe if he offered to kneel, like Loki had seemed to want so much during the whole invasion debacle. That had some possibilities.

There was no way he could produce enough ice with the fridge in the kitchen to fill the tub. Would Loki even come, if there was no ice?

He ignored the perfectly acceptable lunch that Pepper forced in front of him while mumbling about ‘his inability to be a part of the real world getting out of hand.’ She kept shoving the plate of chicken salad under his nose, and he kept pushing it away and trying to calculate how much ice the freezer could produce in an hour.

Not enough, that’s how much.

He moped over his stupid chicken salad when Pepper shoved it to him again. He didn’t even like chicken salad. He pushed it away.

Finally, Pepper stood, and the motion had a sense of finality. “I’m going to get Doctor Banner. There’s something wrong with you.”

His illuminated response was, “Huh?”  

“Tony, I came all the way out here to discuss this board decision with you so that you could stay in your lab, like you’ve been insisting you have to do every day for three weeks now. You’re a mess. You’re unfocused, and not eating, and still in your pajamas.” She pushed the plate at him again. “Have you even been in your lab today?”

In fact, he had not. He thought he might have gone down the day before, in search of a remote for the overhead screen, so he could watch the security footage from the camera he’d installed in the bathroom the previous week.

That probably wasn’t what Pepper was looking for in an answer. That camera was pretty awesome, though. It picked up the best angle of—

“Tony?” Pepper’s insistent voice broke through his introspection. Okay, so it was less introspection and more his brain starting to replay the pseudo-porn from the ‘security’ video.

“Yeah, going down after lunch.” He put her off, picking up his fork and poking the chicken salad semi-enthusiastically, but still failing to actually eat any.

“And what’s so important that you spent the last three weeks holed up in your lab with a swimming pool worth of ice?” Pepper’s patience was gone. He knew that tone of voice without even having to look at her. The elevator dinged its spitefully cheery ‘someone is invading your privacy’ noise as she spoke the last sentence.

“He was just trying to make things easier around the tower, Miss Potts,” Rogers’ voice came out, deep and as obnoxiously handsome as he was, filling the space with all that chivalric attitude. The words, though…  “It gets pretty hot up here since that Loki messed up the reactor.”

What in the absolute motherloving fuck?

He looked up at ‘Captain America’ suspiciously, because that was as much Captain America as Tony was Captain Asgard. Sure enough, it was 100% grade A American beefcake, not a trace of lithe blue sex god to be seen.

Pepper reacted like all women did to the good Captain, with a lovely smile and a very subtle glance at his assets. Okay, no, Pepper handled it with much more poise and grace than most of Captain Beefcake’s fans did.

“Oh! Captain, I had no idea the ice was for anyone but Tony. I can have it sent again?” This was like a bad joke. Ten years as her boss, and she was going to ignore his needs and pander to Captain America? And he had news for her: it wasn’t even Captain America!

He opened his mouth to tell her to stop hitting on… Wow. He’d been drinking too much, or not sleeping enough. He snapped his teeth closed again and just muttered something to himself about the Captain’s cooling needs being somehow more important than his own, stabbing the stupid chicken salad with his fork.

The Captain smiled that billion watt smile at Pepper… No, Loki smiled that billion watt smile on the Captain’s face. His ability to mimic that smile showed that he’d spent far too much time looking at Rogers. Fucking Rogers. Everyone wanted Rogers.

“Thank you, Miss Potts, but it’s such a lovely day. I can’t imagine that would be necessary.” He put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and subtly walked her to the elevator.

“Please, Captain, it’s Pepper.” She grabbed her briefcase as Captain Loki guided her out and glanced back at Tony for a moment. “Tony, look at that paperwork and give me a decision. Soon.”

The faux-Captain smiled at Pepper again. “Please, Pepper, it’s Steve. And I’ll see to it that he gets that reading done.”

Oh he would, would he? Pretending to be Steve Rogers, flirting with Pepper, and making Tony do WORK? What the hell was this about?

The second the elevator door closed, Captain Fucking America was hopping up to sit on the table across from Tony. “I thought she’d never leave.” He poked Tony’s chicken salad dubiously with a blue-gloved finger. “What is _that_?” His tone said he was sure the answer was ‘poison.’

“Lunch,” Tony answered him, pushing it away once and for all. Ten years, and she still hadn’t stopped trying to get him to eat things that weren’t twinkies for lunch.

“I thought the purpose of lunch was eating, not murder?” The Captain’s clear blue eyes looked horribly wrong with Loki’s trademark cynical disgust in them.

Tony shrugged. “She doesn’t think I eat enough protein. Some crap about booze being all empty carbs. I’m sure Your Prudishness agrees.”

“My what?” For just a fraction of a second, Tony thought he saw doubt in those inappropriately blue eyes.

Tony, as was his habit, acted like a dumbass without thinking about it. He dropped his voice into what he thought of as his ‘sexy’ register. “So Capsicle, you offered to show me something _new_ last time you were here. It seems I have the whole afternoon free, now that Pep’s cut off my ice supply. You wanna take this thing into the bedroom?”

The doubt was there, all right, and it was serious. Loki was actually worried he’d fooled Tony into thinking that he was Rogers. Well now Tony felt like an ass. He was an ass.

“I…” Doubt, anger, and something else crossed Cap/Loki’s face in succession. Hurt? Well fuck it all, Tony really was a complete and utter ass.

He practically lunged across the table, grabbed the fake Captain by his star spangled collar, and pushed his face up close, almost within kissing distance. “But you gotta take that face off, first. It’s totally fucking creepin’ me out. I am not screwing the boyscout. Hell, I’m not even kissing you like this.”He let go and leaned back, while Cap/Loki stared at him, unconvinced.

“Christ, Loki, do you honestly think I’d just jump on whatever dick is closest and convenient?” He’d fucked this up, he had to fix it.

He had to!

“You didn’t exactly hesitate to jump on mine.” Loki said in Cap’s voice, and it way creepy and wrong.

Tony frowned. “Seriously, could you please be _you_? I don’t like this. I’m more than willing to talk about my being a womanizer, I just need to have this conversation with the guy I’m fucking, not the guy my father fucking worshipped.” It didn’t occur to him until the words had spilled out, that it might have been the most honest thing he’d said in ages. (Well, other than, ‘fuck, Loki, yes, right there,’ and the like.)

When he said the word ‘father’, something in Loki’s eyes changed, and he was suddenly himself, in his own clothes, and his own deep green eyes…

“Thank fuck.” Tony practically raced around the table to plant himself firmly on Loki’s lap. Okay, that was weird. But it stood to reason that if he was sitting on Loki, Loki couldn’t leave. Right? “It was a joke, and a bad one. I’d never in a million years fuck Rogers. I’m sorry.” Sorry? What the hell was wrong with him? He had barely apologized to Pepper or Happy on any of the multiple occasions he’d almost gotten them killed.

Loki’s face went from doubt to calculation. “Are you?”

“Um, yes?” That was concerning. Tony had the distinct feeling that he’d made a considerable miscalculation somewhere along the line.

“And we’re discussing your womanizing?” Loki’s smile – his real, manic, kind-of-evil Loki smile – made an appearance. Was it inappropriate for that smile to be sexy? Wait…. Womanizing? Fuck, he had agreed to talk about that. He’d been expecting something more along the lines of an apology blowjob.

What the hell had he gotten himself into?


	5. Alternate Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Alternate Universe. Yeeah, I know it only just fits the prompt, but it seemed more important to write a good story than force it into the prompt. There is an alternate universe involved. A horrifying world, indeed.

Tony woke in the night to Loki tossing and turning in the bed.

Since the end of the heat wave and the Captain America incident, he and Loki had… it was kind of like... Well, Loki slept over sometimes, and he kept some clothes in Tony’s closet. Like, he slept over every night, and half of Tony’s closet was stuffed full of his clothes. Also, he kept muttering about Tony not having cleared enough space for him.

But Loki still had his own apartment. It’s not like they were living together. It’s just that Tony had agreed that as long as Loki was available whenever he wanted to have sex, then Tony wouldn’t have sex with anyone else. All Tony had to do was call. So basically, Loki had to be around all the time. Even Loki had initially shown some surprise at the regularity with which Tony had called him.

Loki was still a bad guy and all. He was probably planning some nefarious thing that was going to take years to come to fruition, which was why no one had seen him in the intervening months.

Well, no one but Tony.

Thor had expressed concern for his brother’s health, and everyone had looked at him like he was an idiot. They all had a hard time reconciling Loki’s behavior and Thor’s loyalty. Tony was starting to see Thor’s point. Loki had so many redeeming qualities: his quick wit, his winning smile, his enormous, abnormally strong hands, with those long elegant fingers that could drive Tony crazy with— Well that part wasn’t going to change any Avenger’s minds about Loki.

Loki didn’t seem interested in that, though. So while Tony had dreamed up half a dozen ‘reintroduce Loki to the Avengers in a happy way’ plans, he hadn’t even brought the idea up with Loki himself. He had a list. Almost every item involved both of them lying their asses off. He already knew that when all else failed, he would resort to the truth, and it would work. The Avengers were suckers like that. Almost all of them had shady pasts, so they should all be able to understand that a person could change, and deserved a second chance. Still, Loki hadn’t asked, so Tony kept his plans to himself. For now.

But anyway, Loki was tossing and turning. Bad dream? It happened sometimes, to each of them. They had started a pattern early on in their not-cohabitation wherein one would wake the other from a nightmare, hold him until he stopped shaking like a leaf, maybe have a little comfort sex, and then never ever speak of it.

This seemed worse than average, though. Tony wrapped his arms around his lover’s chest and squeezed tight. “Loki? Wake up, Cold Stuff.”

His response was a brief whimper, and then as he jerked violently awake the word on his lips stopped Tony cold. “Mother?”

“What?” He knew he wasn’t supposed to ask. It was one of the unspoken rules of comforting each other. If they didn’t acknowledge that it was comfort, then it never happened, and no one’s masculinity was damaged.

Loki took a few deep breaths, and curled his whole body into Tony. “My… my mother.”

That was unexpected. “You… miss her? Want to see her?”

Tony very deliberately did not hear Loki sniffle. He almost didn’t hear the quiet response, “The spell must have backfired.”

Okay, that was safer territory. “Oh, a spell?”

Loki rolled over and wound himself around Tony face to face, pulling them together so tightly that Tony had to focus on breathing until Loki’s arms settled a bit. “I miss her. I tried an old spell I used to use often. It gives me dreams of what distant people are doing. I-I thought it would be–”

“Say no more, Beautiful. I get it.” Tony, of all people, certainly understood wanting to see his mother again. “But something bad is happening?”

Loki squeezed again, this time for long enough that Tony had to ‘tap out’ on his back to get him to loosen the death-grip. “No. It isn’t possible.”

Uh-oh. That wasn’t good. “What isn’t possible?”

“I dreamed that she was murdered.” Loki whispered against his ear. Even there, he could barely make it out. It was enough, though.

Tony would fix this. “I can talk to Thor about–”

“You do not understand, My Sweet,” Loki pulled away enough to look him in the eye. “It is not possible. In the dream, I was in Asgard as well. Serving a sentence for my crimes against Midgard. And mother was murdered trying to defend Thor’s damned woman. Unless I am mistaken, that _creature_ is no more in Asgard than I am.”

“So the spell failed, and just gave you a nightmare?” That sounded like Loki’s notoriously shitty luck.

“I do not believe so. Such things presented as dreams are often possibilities; visions of what may happen, or has happened in other worlds.” Loki pulled away and sat up. “I cannot allow even the possibility that these events will occur.”

Tony nodded, sitting up with Loki. They weren’t going to sleep again, so they might as well try to do something useful. “How do we keep your mother safe, then?”

Loki turned to look at Tony, something like hope on his lovely face. “I would need to have access to Asgard again.”

“Okay, and if you go back, old one-eye locks you up, and… well, add Jane and that’s pretty much your nightmare. Or… um, alternate dimension, or something.” Tony didn’t see a way that they could change that.

“If I made peace with Midgard, Anthony, Odin could not ignore that.” Loki took one of his hands. “So I must make peace with your Avengers, as the All-Father views them as the most worthy of your people. Will you help me?”

Tony grinned. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“You what?” Loki was confused. Tony wondered sometimes if that wasn’t why Loki stuck around. He was used to seeing everyone’s motives a mile away, and knowing what they were going to do because of it. Tony kept surprising him, though. And Tony intended to keep doing it, on the off chance that it _was_ the reason he stayed.

“Babe, I’ve been planning your spectacular entrance into the Avengers since July.” It was November. It’s surprising, what Tony Stark can plan in four months. “Remember when I asked you to help me with that project?”

“You mean when you had me sit in your laboratory for hours doing nothing?” Loki frowned at him.

“Exactly.” Tony nodded emphatically. “Well, that’s not exactly what we’ll call it. See, you helped me. With a project. The project helped us track and capture Doom. So you saved the city!”

Loki was looking at him as though he was a madman, but he was on the tangent now, and he wasn’t going to be diverted.

“So first, I tell them about how much you’ve helped me in the last few months. Then we tell them that you want to join the Avengers–”

“I what?” Loki looked somewhat alarmed by that prospect.

Tony frowned. “Well see, it’s part of the plan. You know, you don’t just want to get away with what you did, you want to ‘make amends.’ It’ll make it look good.”

“And you’ve been planning this practically since we met again in July.” Loki deadpanned.

Tony crawled into his lover’s lap and wrapped his arms around that long pale neck. “Since the minute I saw you naked, Babe.”

“Really? Not the minute I made you scream my name in delight?” Loki pressed up into him with a growing interest.

“I’m not sure…" Tony purred against Loki's smirk, "maybe you should remind me.”

The Avengers probably weren’t awake at three AM anyway.

 

*

 

Thor was absent from the morning meeting, which immediately worried Tony. He had Jarvis locate Doctor Foster, though, and called her phone just to be sure that she was indeed not in Asgard. He gave her a vague reason for the intrusion. He thought about asking her to call him if she had to go to Asgard, but that might be pushing his luck. Best to just do things Loki’s way. That usually worked out pretty well for Tony.

Still, even if Thor’s absence didn’t indicate Frigga in danger, it was an annoyance. It was more difficult to sway a crowd when your biggest supporter was missing.

Tony sat down at the conference table and fidgeted. Loki was waiting in their room, and would come in after Tony had explained the situation. Or disappear if it all went FUBAR. That was the plan.

“Tony, why are you twitching?” Natasha asked suspiciously.

“Umm,” he started terribly eloquently. “I have a thing to talk to the team about.”

“Is this about you turning gay, Stark?” Clint was smirking at him, and how the fuck could he have any idea what happened in Tony’s bedroom?

“How the hell do you know who I’m sleeping with, Agent Stalker?” Tony retorted, moving to stand up, but feeling a calming hand on his shoulder. He should have known Loki would show up, and not just wait. Given the lack of response from the room, he must be invisible. Tony glanced at his shoulder, and his theory was proven through.

“Puh-lease. The endless parade of women has stopped, so obviously, you’re sleeping with people you don’t want anyone to know about.” The archer’s smirk intensified. “So unless you’re boning Amora, you’ve switched teams.”

Tony cocked his head and really looked at the bird-brain. “Interesting you should put it that way, Woodstock.”

“Oh god, Tony, tell us you’re not sleeping with Amora.” Natasha looked like she was about to start banging her head on the table.

“I really don’t see why any of us is worried about Tony’s – um, parades. Of things. I mean… people!” The captain blushed redder and redder with every word, as though he somehow had something to do with Tony’s sleeping habits. Ew. Christ, what if these idiots started thinking that?

Tony tensed up, and had the urge to throw the plan to the wind, say that they were all idiots and then just tell them everything, when he felt skillful fingers pushing into his shoulder muscles. He leaned into it and rolled his neck. Fuck, he could get used to that.

“Tony?” Natasha’s voice suddenly broke through the din, sounding surprised. “You haven’t interrupted us to tell us why we’re all less intelligent than you, and then tell us whatever you actually needed to talk to us about.”

Tony pushed his shoulders back further, putting himself completely in Loki’s hands. “Well, you guys… do you remember back in July when I beat Doom without you? I told you I had help? And then later, when we were trying to track him back to his lair, and I told you someone was helping me with that, too?”

There were uneasy frowns and nods around, and Bruce spoke up. “Should I be leaving the room, Tony?”

“Well that depends, Buddy, do you believe in rehabilitation?” Tony grinned at him.

“Holy _shit_ , you ARE fucking Amora!” Barton exclaimed. “You dog!”

Loki’s voice broke in, smooth, beautiful, and annoyed. “He is certainly not sleeping with Amora. Nor will he be.”

All around Tony, eyes went wide and flew to a spot above his head. Uh oh.

When Tony looked up, he found that Loki had become visible behind him, hands still on Tony’s shoulders. He stage-whispered, “The plan, Cold Stuff?”

“The archer implied that you had lowered yourself to lie with the likes of Amora. It was unacceptable.” Loki gave Clint a pointed look before conspicuously removing his hands from Tony, and moving to sit in the empty chair to his right.

Natasha immediately wanted to give Tony a concussion, to make sure he wasn’t being mind-controlled.

Clint was horrified and disgusted (and thoroughly jealous, Tony thought), and did a lot of pouting.

Bruce just sat and sipped his tea. Tony started to wonder if he really did put some extra special ingredient in there.

The Captain was the first to find both his tongue and his common sense. “You’ve been working with Loki for five months and only just now thought to tell us?”

“Actually, I thought to tell you pretty much every day between then and now. I just wasn’t dumb enough to do it,” Tony announced, and the room went silent. That had gotten their attention properly. “So Loki saved my bacon in Central Park when none of you were available to do it. I was grateful, but I think it’s understandable that I was dubious about his intentions.”

Loki nodded thoughtfully. “It would have been quite foolish of you to trust me then.”

“So I asked for his help on some minor projects, and then some bigger ones… and he kept coming through for us.” Tony looked each of them in the eye. “I’m not crazy or mind controlled. I just have good reason to trust Loki.”

“Like fucking him?” Asked Clint.

“I hardly ever trust anyone I fuck, Barton. That’s a stupid reason to trust someone.” And that was the heart of the matter. They would argue and tell him he was being a fool, but no one could ever accuse Tony Stark of being manipulated by the women he slept with. They all thought he was too self-involved for that.

For the purposes of protecting that argument, Tony refrained from mentioning that he and Loki were practically living together.

And of course, the Avengers did spend all morning arguing. Tony ordered in pizza for lunch. And then they spent most of the afternoon arguing. Finally, Loki suggested a break. None of them wanted to leave him alone with Tony, saying either that they wanted to protect Tony or just being honest about wanting to keep an eye on Loki.

Through it all, Bruce Banner sat back, sipped tea, and held his tongue. He shared a lab with Tony sometimes. He wasn’t stupid. He’d known this was coming since that time in August when he’d walked into the lab and seen… what he’d seen.

Loki surprised them all late in the afternoon by suggesting dinner on the penthouse level, and then a movie. They didn’t know it yet, and the arguments continued for days – weeks, even – but the second they all agreed to dinner and a movie, they had lost the fight.

They suddenly weren’t just seeing Loki as an enemy to imprison. They were seeing him as a potential ally, albeit a dangerous one that they didn’t entirely trust. Wasn’t that what they had all been to one another, at some point?

So in December, thanks to the horrible dream of a world that never happened and now never would, Loki was officially inducted into the Avengers. It was the best Christmas present Tony could have asked for.

Of course, that was before he came home on the evening of the 24th to find his alien sex god wrapped in nothing but a big green bow.

Tony had never had such a Christmas.


	6. First Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: firsts

Loki wearing nothing but a big green bow.

Tony would have been lying if he claimed to have ever laid eyes on a sexier sight in his life. Unless it was cerulean blue Loki lying on a pile of ice in Tony’s bathtub. Or just-finished-working-out Loki wearing nothing but yoga pants and dripping with sweat. Or Loki in his sweatpants, draped bonelessly across Tony’s couch watching reality TV, trailing his finger over the remote's buttons absently, back and forth and back again…

Hmm... Tony might have a slight problem.

That fact had been preying on his mind for some time.

He thought about Loki far more than seemed normal or healthy. Pepper, when she’d found out about the relationship, had deemed it infatuation. She’d told him that he was obsessed with the idea of doing things he thought were inappropriate, and that Loki would be gone as soon as they both realized they were just acting out to get attention.

He hadn’t been back to the office since. He was pretty sure that Pepper had been speaking from a place of anger, since things hadn’t worked out between them, and his first post-Pepper relationship had been with not only a man, but Loki. That didn’t mean he was just going to get over the fact that she’d spoken that way about…

He sighed.

That was the rub, wasn’t it? He hadn’t been particularly offended on his own behalf. She was right about Tony and his habits. She was right that he liked doing things that pissed people off. But she was wrong about it being an infatuation, and she was wrong about Loki.

He _hoped_ she was wrong about Loki.

In his darkest moments, Tony worried that Loki was just using him for his position, or as part of a plot. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had tried that on Tony.

It would just be the first time it had worked.

Loki was supposed to be using him for sex. Tony tried not to admit, even to himself, that he would be hurt even if that was what was really going on. He just kept giving Loki as much sex as his body was willing to give, as many surprises as he could manage, and everything he could imagine that Loki might want.

Even if Loki was just around for the sex, he’d get attached eventually, right? His species secreted pair-bonding hormones too, surely; maybe they just took longer to work their magic than Oxytocin.It’s not like all the sex offended Tony at all.

Like Christmas Eve and the aforementioned Loki-wearing-nothing-but-a-bow, and how the sight made Tony's heart skip three beats before jump-starting it again like a thousand-volt defibrillator.

Tony paused in the doorway, taking a long look at the apparent offering before him. Best Christmas present ever, y/y?

“I’ve been discussing this ‘holiday season’ nonsense with your Captain,” Loki said, running a finger down his chest to where the bow lay, just barely covering his groin like some kind of bizarre loincloth. “He tells me that it is traditional to give a gift to one’s loved ones, to symbolize… oh, I forget, I stopped listening after that.”

“I think you got the important points down.” Tony smiled, slipping his shirt over his head. He motioned to the bow, and then himself. “Gift, check. Loved one, check.” Then he froze, had he just told Loki that Loki loved him?

Loki smiled in that sexy-evil way that made Tony’s stomach drop. He’d never been willing to take such a submissive role in any relationship before, but with Loki, he didn’t even hesitate anymore. All he needed was that smile, and he’d let Loki shove him against the wall and fuck him. Whatever Loki wanted.

Shit. But now, he’d told Loki that… it was a little like baring your body to a carnivore. Is he hungry right now? Is he going to tear out your-still beating heart because you just showed him that it’s your weak spot?

“Well then, o Loved One," Loki said, his breath catching on the endearment, "why don’t you come unwrap your gift?”

Their eyes locked, and Tony saw a familiar fear in Loki’s eyes. The same fear of rejection he saw in the mirror every time he allowed himself to think that maybe Loki was using him. Loki was afraid of his reaction. _He meant it!_

Tony paused in his stripping to do as he’d been asked. “I think that’s the best suggestion I’ve had all year, Ba–” No. ‘Babe’ was not cutting it here. It was Tony’s turn, and he wasn’t going to fuck this up. Not when he was so close to what he wanted. “Loved one.” It was awkward, and his voice came out as a whisper, but he got it out. Loki had to see the sincerity in his eyes, didn’t he?

He sat on the edge of the bed and ran his hand along the deep green velvet of the bow. Loki looked nervous, but not offended. He’d believed. He trusted Tony? Gods knew Tony trusted him more than he did most people. 

Tony ran his hand up from the bow, along Loki’s side, to the spot over his heart. “Are you okay?” Loki put a shaking hand on his own, and Tony frowned. “Babe, you’re shaking. What’s wrong?”

“I want,” Loki paused for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing. “I want you to have me, Anthony. I am not jesting with this gift-giving nonsense. You will take me?”

Trust Loki to make a request sound like a demand. Wait, Loki wanted him to… oh. “I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I’ll give you anything you want, Loki. But are you sure it’s what you want?”

“Yes.” Loki nodded decisively, losing patience with Tony’s distraction and starting to strip his pants off. Avoiding Tony’s eyes, he spoke in a quiet tone that lacked his usual confidence. “I don’t do this. That is, I did it before, and it was… unpleasant.”

“But you want me to do it?” Tony went from concerned to terrified. He’d done it before, sure, but what if he disappointed Loki?

Loki rolled his eyes. “I think I made that rather clear, yes. I expect that unless you fail me utterly, your cock will be inside me within the next half hour.”

“Fail you?” Tony’s fear was bleeding into his voice, and he didn’t care. He didn’t want Loki to be disappointed with him. Everyone else he’d ever loved had ended up disappointed in him. He wanted Loki to be the exception.

Loki, though, summed things up nicely and stabbed Tony’s fears in the heart. He took a firm grip on Tony’s rock hard shaft, and smiled. “I don’t think failure is going to be an issue.” He leaned over to kiss Tony softly on the lips. “You never do fail me, though, do you?”

“Well there was that one time…” Tony remembered desperately trying to give Loki one more go, but falling asleep in the middle of being fucked.

Loki’s chuckled at him. “I didn’t mind. You were the one who missed out… Love.”

Tony grinned. “Well I’m not going to miss a minute of tonight.” He wasn’t going to fall asleep on Loki tonight, not even if he had to hunt down a coke dealer to manage.. “Tell me how to make you happy, Love.”

Loki grinned, and kissed him breathless. “Open me up for you, Anthony.”

Instinctively, Tony held up a hand and looked to Loki. They had always rather counted on Loki’s magical gifts to, well, ease the way, so to speak. He didn’t think that they had a bottle of lube in the whole tower. Without a word, Loki made a tiny motion, and Tony had all that he needed. Maybe a little more than he needed.

Good. Better not enough friction than too much. Loki wasn’t used to this like Tony. That was a thought he’d never imagined he’d have. Tony Stark was used to being on the bottom, and his boyfriend wasn’t. The public would be scandalized. Fuck that. Tony liked being under Loki. He liked feeling Loki move inside him. He melted a little just thinking about the way he felt when Loki found the right spot and just pounded into him… yeah, he wanted to give Loki _that_.

Hesitantly, he laid Loki back against the pillows. Loki followed his lead. How novel. He slid in between Loki’s legs, and spread them wide. “Fuck, Loki, you’re so beautiful.”

Tony saw Loki’s mouth open, saw the snark there waiting to come out, and saw Loki’s mind change. Loki swallowed whatever sharp words had been on the tip of his tongue, and just bit his lip seductively, looking at Tony.

Tony grinned, and leaned up to press a kiss to those stunning, poisonous lips as he started pressing the first finger into his lover. “It’s okay. I like it when you sass me. You _could_ even say that I love it.”

“Then hurry up before even I grow old, Mortal.” Loki nipped his lip and pressed into the finger Tony was pushing into him.

“As you wish...” Tony added another finger, and started trying to emulate the way that Loki did this. The way that drove Tony absolutely crazy. It involved at least one more finger, and a sort of upward motion… Tony was good with his hands. He could do this.

Loki wasn’t snarking anymore. He was trying hard to lay back and relax, but Tony read tension in every line of his body. It wasn’t easy for Loki to give up control like this. When Tony pressed the third finger in, he went even more slowly for a moment, watching Loki’s face for signs of discomfort. Concentrating on keeping his touch as soft as possible, he curled the pads of his fingers up toward himself.

It was a powerful feeling, one that he was intimately familiar with, being in control of your lover’s pleasure. Tony had always enjoyed making his lovers scream his name. When Loki arched up on the bed and whimpered, though, it was like winning a fucking gold medal in the Olympics. No, screw that. _All_ the gold medals. Tony had never felt more accomplished in bed.

“Anthony!” Loki whimpered again when Tony brushed past the spot again, orienting himself on it, making sure that he would know exactly what angle he needed to hit it with his dick. “Now! Fuck me now!”

“I think we’re in the territory firmly named ‘making love’, Loki.” Tony wasn’t going to ignore an order and risk not being allowed to do this again, though, so he slowly slipped his fingers out and pressed his cock to Loki’s ass. “Because we’re going to take this nice and slow. I don’t want it to be… unpleasant.” At the moment, Tony’s biggest worry was the fact that Loki seemed tense, like he was waiting for it to start hurting. While he could definitely relate to the feeling, that was just going to make things harder for him.

Loki’s hands snaked out and grabbed both sides of his face. “It won’t. I’m ready. I want you inside me.”

Tony forgot how to breathe for a moment. “Fuck, Loki, how is every single thing you do so damned sexy?”

Loki laughed. “You don’t think my hair in the morning is sexy.”

Tony absolutely couldn’t stop the amused laughter that bubbled up out of him. “I only made that Christmas tree crack one time. I think your hair is great.”

“Shut up and fuck me.” Loki sounded suitably distracted, and the tightness in his shoulders seemed to have eased a bit.

So Tony pushed forward slowly, pushing his cock into Loki inch by excruciating inch. He was tight, and tensing as they went, so Tony stopped. Instead of pushing through like his lizard brain wanted him to, he leaned down and littered kisses across Loki’s chest. Then he reached between them and wrapped a hand around Loki’s shaft, stroking lightly.

“Anthony, you are not fucking me. I told you that I want your cock in me. Give it to me, now.” Loki sounded almost petulant. He obviously knew that Tony was trying to protect him from pain, and he didn’t ever like to be protected.

“Don’t rush me,” Tony grinned down at him. “I’m enjoying taking my time with your perfect little ass. Do you have any idea how perfect this ass is? God, I’ve wanted into it since the first time I saw it.” He pressed a little deeper, and Loki had relaxed enough to allow him to slide in more easily.

This time, the motion elicited a moan instead of a wince. That was more like it.

Tony tried not to grin. He should have seen it coming; flattery always worked to get what he wanted from Loki. “Fuck, Babe. If you knew how it felt to be in you, you’d leave me for a clone of yourself.”

Loki grinned. “Panderer.”

“Always.” Tony finally pressed himself fully inside. “Anything that makes my Loki happy.”

Loki pulled him down to look deep into his eyes. Before it had a chance to become uncomfortable, he spoke. “I love you, my Anthony.”

Tony braced his arms on either side of Loki’s body and kissed the man beneath him, slowly starting to move his cock. “I love _you_ , my Loki. My Jotun prince. My beautiful blue ice god.” With each title, he moved further, faster, and suddenly Loki was gasping.

“Anthony…” Loki whimpered, and Tony had a moment’s fear that he was in pain. Stopping was a bad plan, though; he could ruin it for his lover if he didn’t do this properly – if he didn’t do it as well as Loki always did. He’d forgotten how much work being in charge was.

“Tell me, Loki. Tell me what you want.” Funny. Here he was on top, demanding help and guidance from the man he was fucking. Loki looked as lost in the sensation as Tony usually was, though. Not likely that an answer was going to come from that state of mind.

“More.” Loki gasped out. “Perfect. More. Stars, Anthony.”

It took all Tony had in himself not to let go at that. His Loki, always so in control, so perfect and precise, was completely undone beneath him. Those flushed cheeks, those parted lips, that expression of bliss – it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He could go through the effort of taking control once in a while if he got to have _this_. He sure didn’t look like this when Loki was fucking him, did he?

He wiped Loki’s sweat-damp hair back from his face, and ran his lips along one of those sharp cheekbones as he continued thrusting. Not too fast, but not slow enough to annoy Loki. “God I love you, Babe. You’re my whole life. Never leave me.”

Loki’s eyes snapped open, and for a second Tony was afraid he’d gone too far. Then his lover’s whole body tensed, and he couldn’t think anymore past that astonishing tight warmth pressing in on his cock, and he came, long and hard, with Loki’s name on his lips.

When he came back to himself, he was relieved to feel a wet sticky spot between their bodies. He pulled back far enough to look down at Loki. Huge, damp green eyes were staring at him. “Never?”

“Never, Loki.” He pulled himself out as gently as possible, rolled them to their sides, and wrapped his arms tightly around his Loki.

“Never,” Loki agreed, before pushing his face into Tony’s chest.

He didn’t even bother with his usual hand-wave to clean them up or turn the lights off, just curled up against Tony with obvious intent to sleep. Tony couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he motioned for Jarvis to turn the lights off.

Tony Stark had never been in love before.

Best Christmas present ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... first lots of things for both of them, really. 
> 
> I know that at this point, the whole thing is so cracked that I'm blushing about even having written it, but I hope your guys will spot me this one. The rest of my stories are serious!
> 
> Now, off to do the RL things I wish I didn't have to...


	7. Duel to the Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: going public 
> 
> Guess who still doesn't know about Loki and Tony...

It was a freezing Saturday morning in late January, and they had decided to stay in. Okay, technically they didn’t have any plans even before the temperature dropped to below freezing, but had they decided not to make any new plans because it was cold out. The whole truth was more like this: now that he had Loki, Tony found himself making excuses to stay in more and more often. He was often conflicted about that, given the party guy reputation he was supposed to be upholding. On the other hand, if he went out to a party it greatly reduced the chance that he was going to get time alone with Loki.

Tony was starting to live for his time alone with Loki.

Gods knew that being shoved face first into a pillow and taken from behind was ages better than going to some society party where everyone knew him and he wished he didn’t know any of them. Everyone at places like that wanted Tony for only two things: His checkbook and his dick.

Not that Loki didn’t want his dick, it’s just that Loki wanted other things from him as well. Loki wanted to wake up next to him, and sing in his shower, and eat the toast off Tony’s plate at breakfast. These were probably not things anyone should find attractive, but they were to Tony.

Once Tony had gotten past the infatuation stage where all he wanted was for Loki to shove him down and fuck him, he'd discovered all these other things to love in Loki: his penchant for ‘Midgardian hairstyling products’, his love of horrible reality TV, and his horrendous sweet tooth, to name a few. They were all just so unexpected for someone like Loki, and so domestic, and sweet, and… yeah, Tony was in love.

No one really doubted it, and it had unexpectedly made Loki’s acceptance into the Avengers smoother. Bruce hadn’t ever been particularly bothered by the relationship, Rogers had taken to calling them ‘the lovebirds’, Barton had stopped sleeping in the ventilation shafts because he wasn’t sure where Loki was, and Natasha had even stopped trying to concuss Tony when no one was looking. That one had taken the longest.

Tony was still a little worried about Thor, but Loki assured him that Thor was completely indifferent to Loki’s love life. Thor still hadn’t returned from his jaunt to Asgard in November, and so had no idea that Loki had joined the Avengers or, more accurately, that he'd joined Tony. Despite Loki’s assurances, Tony was worried about the whole idea of ‘coming out’ to Thor. Thor wasn’t a bad guy or anything; he was just a huge guy, with a big hammer and a proven temper.

Loki rolled his eyes at that notion, assured Tony that Thor was as harmless as a puppy – and just as easily kicked. Tony wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Especially the implication that Loki was okay with kicking puppies.

Tony wasn’t really thinking about Thor on that freezing morning in January, though. He was thinking about breakfast. He and Loki had gotten up to some hijinks in the shower, and after finally cleaning up, they had decided to make something to eat.

Tony wasn’t much of a cook, but he did make a good omelet. And Loki? Well, Tony was pretty convinced Loki could do anything he wanted to. It was with that in mind that Tony begged Loki to make waffles. It only took the promise of ‘whatever you want… later’ to get them, too.

That was probably a little unhealthy, offering the man who had once tried to take over the world ‘whatever he wanted’, but Tony trusted that he and Loki wanted the same things these days. He figured that the most bizarre thing Loki would ask for would be something new and kinky in the bedroom that Tony would be initially repulsed by, somehow end up loving, and then beg for it himself next time. Yeah, this wasn’t his first rodeo. Besides, waffles sounded really good.

Loki patiently allowed Tony to hover behind him while he cooked. Tony wondered if that was going to cost him extra later, but the lure of getting to stand behind Loki was just too much. Getting a good long look at that fine form, those long legs, that perfect ass? Worth anything he had to pay in the bedroom later. He’d enjoy that anyway.

In fact… why not throw some oil on that fire? He slid up behind Loki and pressed his groin against _that ass_ , wrapping his arms around Loki at the same time.

“Really, Anthony? I am in the middle of making these bizarre breakfast items you demanded. I don’t see their purpose, other than as a syrup delivery device.” Loki continued cooking, not really distracted enough to do anything but complain.

“I dunno, Cold Stuff. I can think of better syrup delivery devices.” He rubbed his slowly recovering groin back and forth against Loki’s ass. “I could warm it up in the microwave, drizzle it all over you, and then lick every inch of your body.”

Loki perked up. “And that would be preferable to breakfast?” He asked in an innocent tone – Loki’s innocent tone, the one that screamed ‘I’m evil’ to anyone with a brain.

“Can’t we do both?” Tony put a pouty note in his own reply. “Or… you could just lean over this counter and let me fuck you until neither of us can think straight, let alone worry about waffles.”

Sadly, two awful things had happened while Tony was speaking that sentence, and he had not immediately noticed either.

The first was that Thor had arrived on the balcony and walked in. The second was that the waffle on the iron had burned.

This was because Loki hadn’t noticed Thor either. Instead of worrying about breakfast, he pressed back against Tony with his ass and answered, “That sounds like a lovely way to start the day.”

Now that didn’t happen terribly often. Loki didn’t mind being on bottom sometimes, but it wasn’t ever going to be his favorite thing. He liked a level of control that being fucked didn’t allow. Tony, on the other hand, was the opposite. He had unexpectedly found that he loved letting go and giving the reins over to Loki. That didn’t mean that they didn’t like to switch things up now and then.

Loki unplugged the waffle iron (thank goodness), and Tony grinned like a fool at the thought of more morning sex.

And that was when the thunder struck.

Yes, Thor was the thunder. Thunderer, whatever.

“ **What have you done to my brother, Man of Iron?** ” Thor’s inappropriately loud indoor voice was even louder than usual. So basically, it was his outdoor voice.

Loki looked up at where Thor was standing, obvious confusion on his face. “What the hell are you talking about, you blundering nitwit?”

Thor didn’t even seem to know Loki was there anymore. It was a little weird, all things considered. He was having a conversation about Loki, with Loki present, and didn’t seem to want Loki involved in the conversation. What he did was reach for his hammer.

Tony threw his hands up in surrender. “Um, can we talk about this, big guy? Little squishy Tony and big bad magic hammer to not make for happy family reunions.” He wasn’t too proud to admit that he couldn’t take a hammer blow without the suit.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say you’re little, Anthony. Medium sized, at least.” Loki mused, sizing Tony up.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Tony demanded of Loki. Was he trying to start a fight?

At the same time Thor yelled, “You’ve unmanned my brother, you fiend!”

Fortunately for the tower, Thor threw himself at Tony, instead of his hammer. On the other hand, Tony doubted that was going to help _him_ in particular. Magic hammer, or ridiculously strong demigod? Both were pretty likely to make Tony into a smear on the wall.

He felt Loki’s hands slide around his waist, and didn’t even have time to think of pushing away – it was kind of an inappropriate time to snuggle – before he realized that was not Loki’s intention. With a weird inside-out popping noise, Tony felt the world around him pulled away. He felt like he was floating in a void for a microsecond, and then he was back at the tower, now on the terrace that overlooked the city.

“Going to have him toss us over the edge instead of crushing us, Babe?” Tony shivered at the cold, and looked up at Loki questioningly. “Why not Malibu? Or something-heim? Somewhere he couldn’t just turn around and walk to in a second?”

Loki smiled in a strangely genuine way. “As lovely as something-heim is this time of year, I thought it best to address this now.”

“So he can kill me?” Tony did a quick assessment of the situation, and found that he wasn’t nearly as frightened as he thought would be appropriate. Loki didn’t seem worried. Tony was sure Loki wouldn’t abandon him to Thor if things went poorly. Still, big magic hammer made him nervous.

He didn’t have a lot of time to process all this, though, as Thor had spotted them, and was headed toward them. He was calling Tony a coward, and demanding the rite of… something-or-another to atone for Tony’s crime.

“The what?” Tony looked at Loki, who was now frowning. Uh-oh.

Loki glanced down at him, and while Tony thought his lover intended to look right back up at his ranting brother, his eyes stuck on Tony’s for a moment. “It’s a sort of ritualized duel to the death over a matter of honor. It cannot be refused by an Asgardian, and if one attempts to refuse, he is assumed to be a coward.” Tony bristled at the implication of his cowardice, and Loki sighed unhappily. “You would accept, wouldn’t you?”

“I’m not a coward.” Tony scowled in Thor’s direction.

Loki nodded, and then proceeded to shove Tony behind his own body, and yell at Thor for a full five minutes in a language Tony didn’t understand.

Fucking Loki.

Mmmm… fucking Loki.

No! He would not be so easily distracted, certainly not by his own libido. Motherfucking Loki. That was better. Motherfucking Loki was deliberately leaving him out of the conversation, treating him like a child who needed to be hidden and protected, and… protected? Loki was protecting him.

Loki was protecting him because he knew that Tony would have accepted the whole duel to the death thing. So how would Loki talk Thor down? Thor was yelling back, but Loki didn’t seem to give a fuck about his opinion, if the increasing anger in his own voice was an indication. It didn’t seem like Loki was even trying to calm Thor down, and rage like that didn’t just stop. It was going to end up pointed at someone, and right now the easiest target was Loki himself.

Tony pulled himself away from Loki’s protective arm, and jumped in front of him. “Whatever he’s saying right now, it’s bullshit. You should ignore him, and we’ll do your whole duel–”

Loki’s hand clapped over his mouth, and he started... babbling? Tony couldn’t be sure, it was still in the strange language Tony didn’t know. He seemed to be talking too quickly, though, and there was an odd uncertainty in his tone. In short, it wasn’t very Loki.

Tony bit his hand, intending to get his two cents in, but it seemed Loki had been expecting that. He didn’t even flinch.

Thor, on the other hand, was looking slightly less homicidal and a little more thoughtful. Well that seemed like a good thing. Except that Loki making people think often had unforeseen and unfortunate consequences.

After a few moments of conversation, Thor nodded, and switched back to English. “You’re quite right, Brother. Anthony is not Asgardian, and it is not his burden to defend his honor.” Tony frowned, hesitating to say anything against that. Not fighting Thor was good, right? “It is your responsibility. You will fight me, Loki.”

Unforeseen and unfortunate consequences.

“NO!” Tony managed to yell from behind Loki’s hand. He lashed out and tried to pull himself away from Loki without unbalancing them both and sending Loki over the edge of the terrace. He got free enough to yell at Thor, if only for a second. “He’s not fighting you, you asshole! If you’re mad at me, you kill me. I won’t let you hurt him!”

Loki stiffened behind him, and Thor took a step back. Had he said the wrong thing? Well, other than calling the demigod of thunder an asshole? “He has no idea what he’s talking about, Thor. We’ve already come to that conclusion. I will fight you, if that is your requirement.”

“What? No!” Tony finally realized that there was simply no way Thor was going to listen to reason. So he spun and appealed to Loki’s common sense. “You’re only doing this because I said I wouldn’t run from him. Fine, we can run from him. I don’t want you fighting.”

Thor’s voice was suddenly a lot closer and a lot quieter. “Neither of you needs fight me, Man of Iron.”

Flinching, Tony spun and made sure he was between the two brothers. “You can’t just go sneaking up on a guy like that, Thor! Wait, what do you mean, neither of us has to fight you? You were homicidal a minute ago.”

Thor’s face raced from emotion to emotion so fast that it was hard to pin down. Anger was still in there somewhere. Worry? Shame? Confusion? “In truth, I should kill you. But I will not be responsible for the death of one who makes my brother happy. Particularly not one who would put aside his own life for Loki’s sake”

“Don’t be an ass, Thor.” Loki glared at him. The muscles in his arms had tensed, and Tony was sure he was about to be grabbed and teleported again, or just tossed out of the way so that Loki could kill his brother.

Thor seemed genuinely confused. “I have retracted my challenge, brother. What more could you want?”

Tony looked up to find exasperation painted across his lover’s face. Loki’s voice was even more annoyed, if such were possible. “I want you to stop thinking we live in the dark ages, you fool. I wish you to realize that I have always preferred men.”

“I know this, Loki. But never before have you allowed one to…” Thor shuddered, “violate you thusly.”

Wow. Tony thought he’d had issues with getting fucked. Turns out he’d been positively well-adjusted by comparison.

Then was when Bruce’s deceptively calm voice called out across the terrace. “Tony? Loki? Do you two need any help?” It was amazing how such a gentle soul could be terrifying when he wanted to.

Thor turned a stunned look to Bruce. “You would aid my brother?”

“If someone is planning on hurting my best friend or his boyfriend, you’re damn right I’m going to ‘aid’ them.” Bruce strode purposefully across the terrace.

Rolling his eyes, Loki interjected before the situation became (more) violent. “No one is going to injure anyone. Thor was just showing a deep and willful ignorance by clinging to ridiculous old Asgardian notions about sexuality.”

Bruce cocked his head. “What, like the Norse? The guy on bottom isn’t a man anymore?”

Tony scowled at that. “What the fuck?”

“It is of no relevance anywhere, but particularly not here or in the modern era.” Loki shrugged the whole fiasco off as though his culture’s homophobia was irrelevant, and hadn’t just almost gotten both of them killed.

Looking over at Tony, Bruce nodded. “It’s an ancient Norse thing. They also think that all users of magic aren’t manly. So I’m honestly not sure what’s bothering Thor here.”

“My brother struggles quite enough proving himself in Asgard. He does not need further impediments.” Thor seemed more pouty than scary, suddenly.

“You were trying to protect his reputation! From ME!” Tony exclaimed, shocked. Tony was the one whose reputation was going in the toilet when the world found out about his gay lover. Loki was already an outcast among the ignorant jackasses that made up Asgard. Of course, Tony’s thought that having a gay lover would ruin his reputation killed the thought that Midgard was particularly less ignorant.

On the other hand, would it really shock anyone that Tony Stark was doing something that involved sex and scandal? Also, if the world knew about Loki and Tony, Tony could take Loki to the boring parties he was avoiding. The parties would be less boring!

Tony grinned, and slipped one arm around Loki’s waist and the other around Bruce’s shoulders to lead them back inside. Fuck Asgard _and_ Midgard, and all homophobia. He could get used to the idea of another scandal, if it came with hot sex and less boredom.

Loki sighed and shook his head. “I have the feeling that this look doesn’t bode well for either of us, Bruce Banner.”

But neither of them pulled away from him as he led them in out of the cold, with Thor following along behind.


	8. I Feel Pretty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: kinks

“It’s not funny!” Tony found himself whining, not for the first time.

Loki obviously disagreed, as he was too consumed with laughter to even give a proper response.

It wasn’t that Tony couldn’t take a joke. Tony loved jokes. It was just that so many of them recently seemed to be at the expense of his pride, or dignity. He rather enjoyed having both intact, and his pride wasn’t exactly a small thing. It required regular feeding and grooming.

For the second time in a week, though, the damned suit had malfunctioned in the middle of a fight, and Loki had saved his bacon. This time, much to Barton’s delight, he’d gone so far as to carry Tony back to the tower. It seemed that what Loki and Barton were going to end up bonding over was making fun of Tony. Like having a goddamned flying suit of armor wasn’t a hundred times cooler than being a less pretty version of Legolas. Who the hell even used a bow and arrows since before the founding of America?

Tony yanked his helmet off and threw it on the floor of his lab in disgust. Fuck it all. At least Barton had some value in a fight without having to be armored up. He even knew how to use a gun if he ran out of arrows. And now the suit was damaged enough that Tony was going to have to pry it off one piece at a time.

“You go join the victory celebration,” Tony practically ordered Loki, wanting to be alone. Using that tone was a mistake and he knew it, but his wounded pride still stung too much to worry about other things.

 Loki controlled his laughter, and quirked one of those perfect goddamned eyebrows at Tony. “Oh really?”

“Look, you’re having fun, and they’re having fun, and since all this fun is at my expense, _I’m_ not having a whole lot of fun right now.” Tony grabbed a screwdriver off the nearest workbench and started prying at the nearest piece. The screwdriver was far from the optimal tool, but it gave him something to do other than look at Loki. Why did his own boyfriend have to take such glee in his humiliation? Yeah, he was pouting. Fuck the world, he’d earned this pout. “So why don’t you all go have fun together?”

“Because, Anthony…” Loki’s breath ghosted over the back of his neck and up to his right ear. “I have more fun with you.”

“I’m not in the mood to have fun.” Tony growled, and stabbed the plate he was working on a little harder, then changed tactics and tried to pry it up at the opposite edge. The screwdriver was really a terrible choice. Completely the wrong size and shape to do much good; may as well use a hammer. He was not going to let Loki watch him fail again today, though, so he kept going.

Loki’s tongue flicked out and ran along the edge of his earlobe. “I’m sure I could get you in the mood, Sweet.”

Tony stabbed at one edge of the plate harder, and the screwdriver slipped out and careened across the center, scratching the paint even more than the fight had. It had been a long day. A long, bad day. He was hot, and tired, and angry, and feeling mistreated by his own teammates. His boyfriend was making fun of him. He was looking at hours of work to get his fucking suit off. “Just leave me the fuck alone, okay? I’m not going to be in any mood other than the mood to get the hell out of this fucking suit and then drink. A lot.”

His body was whipped around so fast that the screwdriver flew out of his hand. Dammit. Suddenly he was looking up at Loki’s looming form. Had it been such a good idea to say things like that to his super-strong magic-using boyfriend? This was the man who had once tried to take over the whole planet, and still hadn’t indicated any real regret. It wasn’t that he was frightened of Loki exactly, he was just well aware that when he pissed Loki off, the end result was never a happy Tony. Once, he had gone without sex for two weeks waiting for Loki to get over some slight that he hadn’t even recognized as a slight when he’d committed it. It had been torture.

But he wasn't about to yield to Loki because he was scared. That wasn't the sort of relationship they had.

Tony sighed. “Look, Babe, I’m not good company right now. It’s gonna take me a while to get all this off. No reason for you to hang around and watch.”

“Is that why you’re so ill-tempered? The fact that your armor requires removal?” Loki waved a hand, and suddenly his suit was falling to the floor in a shower of red and gold. “There. Now you may attend this victory celebration.”

“Not feeling too victorious right now, Loki.” Tony scowled, then thought better of it. He put a hand on the one Loki still held in front of his chest. “Look, you and the others did great. Why don’t you go have pizza and beer with them, while I–”

“While you go drink?” Loki wasn’t even trying to hide his irritation. “You intend to pass me off to your friends while you get drunk?”

Tony was a little surprised at the idea. “No! I thought you’d want to go hang out with them, Loki. I… I was utterly fucking useless out there today. Cap was right when he told me that I was nothing without the suit.” Jesus H. Christ. Were those tears in his eyes? What the hell was wrong with him?

Loki had gone still during that little rant, so Tony risked a glance up at him. Crap. He looked really pissed off.

He sounded pissed off, too, when he finally spoke. “The Captain said that you had no value without that,” he motioned to the armor on the floor, “pile of scraps?”

Tony looked at the mess that had been his most recent suit. After glitching twice in one week, maybe it was for the best… wait, was Loki offended on his behalf? “It was way back when he and I first met, and we were all fighting you. Besides, did you miss the part where he was right about it today?”

“What I missed is what gave him the right to judge your worth.” Loki pressed the length of his body against Tony, and it was somehow comforting, despite the venom in Loki’s tone. Tony was a well-trained monkey, and relaxed easily at just the sound of Loki’s voice. At least, he did when he wasn’t trapped in a suit and being laughed at. “Do you still not know how valuable you are, with or without the suit?”

Tony laughed bitterly. “Let’s be honest about this, Loki. I’m a playboy who’s getting past his prime. I’m not exactly everyone’s dream team member, and my value in dollars is–”

“Completely irrelevant.” Loki said decisively.

“The only thing that keeps me relevant, most days.” Tony amended. “I can’t keep up with the team on a physical level. I couldn’t even go toe-to-toe with Barton and hope to win.”

“I had no idea you wanted to,” Loki reached down to brush a strand of hair out of Tony’s face.

“I don’t! I mean, I mostly don’t. It’s just… doesn’t it ever bother you, that I’m not as strong as you are? Not as tough as you are? Not as good in a fight? Not as good looking?”

Loki gaped at him for a moment, and Tony braced himself for the inevitable realization that all of these things were true, and that Loki could do _so much_ better. What came out of his love’s mouth was not at all what he expected, though. “Are you completely out of you mind, Anthony? Were you concussed in the battle?”

“What? What the hell are you talking about?” Had he stuttered? Were his sentiments somehow unclear?

When Loki regained his composure, he looked Tony hard in the eye. “Do you truly think I find your physical strength to be of import? I could have chosen an Asgardian lover, had I wanted brute force instead of finesse. And your looks? Are you insulting the features that won you ‘most eligible bachelor’ on that infernal Midgardian magazine for the last three years?”

Tony opened his mouth to give a snide retort, but Loki put a finger over his lips.

Loki smiled his best smile. You know, the one that said ‘you keep forgetting that I’m completely out of my fucking mind, and I’m about to brainfuck you.’ That grin featured heavily in both Tony’s worst nightmares and his very best sexual fantasies. “If you believe that your strength is insufficient to keep me entertained, Anthony, perhaps I should show you just how entertaining that beautiful body can be.”

“You’re going to show me how entertaining my body is?” Tony raised a Loki-esque eyebrow.

The grin grew wider. Shit. That couldn’t be a good thing. Instead of doing anything particularly sinister, though, Loki just wrapped his arms completely around Tony’s waist and leaned in for a kiss. As always, Loki kissed him until he was breathless and almost incapable of further argument. It was a kiss that had, in fact, ended more than one argument. It was a kiss that almost invariably led to sex.

Then, just as Tony thought Loki was going to pull away, he paused. A dizzying flood of something rushed through Tony, like he’d been doused with cold water. Every nerve ending was left tingling and his brain wanted nothing more than to lean in for more. Except that his brain was also deeply confused. Leaning in for more, it told him, would involve an unexpected direction: down.

His eyes flew open – he hadn’t even realized that he’d closed them – and he found himself looking down at… himself. His face had the evil Loki brainfuck grin plastered across it, and it was seriously disconcerting. Loki. Loki was _using his body to smile_. Wait, no… well yes, but that wasn’t the point, was it? Loki was in Tony’s body.

Tony looked down at himself, somehow still surprised to find that he was in his lover’s body. Damn, he was so tall. How did he balance when he was so far from the floor? It was like putting on a pair of heels, and that had never been one of Tony’s kinks. He sure as hell didn’t want to fuck… himself. Ew.

The Loki-flavored Tony he was looking down at, though, was smiling like the cat who got the canary; it figured that he’d get off on fucking himself.

He didn’t reach for Tony, though. He looked down at the suit Tony wore under his armor. He ran a hand experimentally across the shirt front and then grinned up at Tony again. “Oh my, I do like this.” He inched the hand down toward the waistband of the pants. “I think I’m going to take it to the bedroom now, and do naughty things to it.”

“You wa-wait one goddamn minute!” Tony’s words came out in Loki’s voice. Same timbre, same pitch, but none of the accent. Surreal. “Tha-That’s my fucking body, and you’re not molesting it like that.”

Loki grinned. “Oh, but Anthony, it’s my body now. And I’ve been molesting it on a regular basis for eight months, now. Why wouldn’t I be allowed to do it tonight?”

“You’ve been what? No, you haven’t been molesting anything. You’ve always had my permission for that!” Tony suspected it was the only time he would ever hear Loki’s voice tinged with something resembling hysteria.

“That’s funny, because I could swear I had your permission this time, too.” Loki turned and sashayed away from Tony. “Sure, _Lokes_ , have at me. You know how I love it when you run your hands all over my body.” He imitated Tony’s inflections, and it was a little disturbing how dead-on it was.

“You can’t do that! I–”  Tony thought fast. “I’ll go tell everyone out there that ‘I’ like it when Tony puts me on my back and has his way with me!”

“And then I’ll drag you back to our room and prove _me_ right,” Loki added without a drop of concern in his voice.

Tony didn’t have an answer for him. How could he respond to this?

Loki slid a thumb into the waistband of his… Tony’s… the goddamned pants that Loki was wearing the same way he was wearing Tony’s body. “I’d really much prefer that you do the honors, though. You really should have the privilege of seeing this body ride your cock. How he goes all flushed and whimpers your name, his mouth hanging open and his eyes rolled back." He licked his lips… Tony's lips… _whatever_ , slowly. "It’s quite fetching.”

“I am not fucking myself.” For the first time, he sounded at least vaguely like Loki. No-nonsense, and utterly determined.

“Of course not, Darling,” Loki said with a caress down the front of his body. “You’re fucking me. You’re the one who wanted to be strong. You’re the one who wasn’t feeling… pretty. Now you’re both. And I am in possession of the only body that has held my attention for more than a few quick trysts. I think I’m going to go spend some quality time with my favorite cock.” Loki’s hand dipped lower into his pants, and he muffled a moan. “Oh, I could get used to this.”

“No—Hey, that’s my cock!” Tony rushed after Loki, almost tripping over his feet because of those unnaturally long legs. Damn, he loved those legs. How did Loki use them to walk, though, let alone have the grace of a ballet dancer with them?

Loki laughed, “Well then come get it, _Cold Stuff_.” He turned and paused as he opened the door leading out of the lab. “You’ll have to be gentle with me, though. I’m small, and terribly breakable…” His tone said that he was only half joking. Then he ran lightly up the stairs in a graceful way that Tony in his own body could never have managed.

Tony looked down at Loki’s body again. Of course, he could use a few minutes to take advantage of having possession of this body. Loki sure wasn’t going to hold it against him.

He braced himself firmly against the workbench as he leaned down to pick up the screwdriver. It was disconcerting to lean down from that height, and he was glad he’d grabbed something before leaning over. He quickly dragged himself back up and slammed the screwdriver down on the workbench.

It broke.

Holy fuck. He picked up the metal tip, and put pressure on both ends at once. It bent like Loki’s goddamned twisted brain in no time at all.

He couldn’t fuck himself like this. Wait, when had he even started considering fucking Loki-in-his-body? That was weird, and wrong, and oh fuck, Loki’s body was certainly reacting positively to the thought. But he couldn’t! He didn’t have Loki’s grace, or fine control over this insane strength. He’d break Loki, hell, _his own body_ in half, and then he’d spend the rest of eternity having to live with that. Probably in a prison cell, since he couldn’t imagine the team believing that he was actually Tony in Loki’s body and it had been an accident.

He ran up the stairs, somehow managing not to fall down or accidentally break anything.

He rushed past the Avengers with little more than a half-hearted nod, straight to his bedroom. Instead of finding Loki naked and playing with his body, though, he found him sitting on Loki’s side of the bed eating. When Tony came in, Loki shoved the food item behind his back. Why the hell was he trying to hide that? Did food taste different to Asgardians? Who cared if it did?

“Loki?” He asked hesitantly.

Loki crunched whatever it was he was eating a few more times and swallowed hard. “Hmm? I thought you were staying in the lab for a while.”

“Why would I have done that, when you did everything you could to get me up…” Tony replayed the conversation in his head. No, Loki hadn’t been trying to bring him up here. He’d been trying to horrify him into staying away. Maybe. Who the hell ever really knew with Loki?

Loki grinned, though. “Didn’t think you’d catch that. Why don’t you go get out of all that armor, then, if you’ve decided to fuck me? Or yourself. Whichever.”

“You always magic it off, Lokes. I wouldn’t even know where to start. Can’t you…?” Tony motioned with his arms, trying to indicatethe way Loki always just made his clothes go away.

“No. Not as long as I’m in your body. It doesn’t have the training necessary to use magic.” Loki made a grand gesture, which looked ridiculous in Tony’s skin, and sparks fizzled between them doing very little other than look cool.

Tony stared. “Did I just do that?”

“Yes. With centuries of training, that is the amount of magic I can force out of your body.” Loki rolled his eyes, disgusted that Tony was impressed. “Magic requires body and mind to be in perfect sync, and ours are currently not. Now go take those clothes off.”

Tony refrained from comment that Loki was obviously trying to get rid of him, but… wait. “If you can’t do magic, how the hell are you going to put us back?” Tony tried not to have a panic attack.

Loki was on his feet and in front of Tony, soothingly caressing his chest, in less than a second. “Everything is fine, Love. It will wear off in a few hours. I promise. I’ve been working on this spell for some time.”

Tony was officially confused. He opened his mouth to ask about it, but Loki ran his hand down to the bulge in his pants and firmly stroked through the material. Jesus, how was he so good at that, even in an unfamiliar body?

“Now, get these clothes off.” Loki pushed at his chest and pointed to the bathroom. That was weird. He didn’t want his own body stripping in front of him?

“I can’t fuck you like this, Loki.” Tony took a step back and crossed his arms over his chest awkwardly. Why were all of Loki’s limbs so damned long? “I can’t control your strength, and I’ll hurt you.”

Loki smiled at him, looking charmed. “You’re afraid for my sweet breakable little body?”

“Not funny.” Tony scowled at him.

He laughed – laughed! – at the look Tony gave him, and then motioned to the bathroom again. “That’s why I’m going to ride you, as we already discussed.”

For some reason, the words had him headed for the bathroom to try to find a way out of the clothes. The fucking things were like a brain teaser. You had to undo this buckle before that clasp, and then the ties, and that other clasp, or it would all get tangled up. Or was it the clasp first? Fuck.

After a few moments, Loki showed up in the doorway scrubbing his hands together. Apparently he had finished his apple. Tony hoped that it was worth it, causing all this trouble so he could have a snack. Loki wandered over and started efficiently releasing clasps, and a button Tony hadn’t even seen, and a few seconds later the whole outfit was in a tangled heap on the floor.

“Seriously?” Tony demanded. “A snack was so important that you couldn’t come do this first?”

Loki grinned sheepishly. “Noticed that, did you? Just something I’ve been wanting to do for a while. Easier when I’m the one… nevermind. Not important.” He dropped to his knees and swallowed Ton… er, his own cock with ease.

Tony looked down and saw Tony Stark sucking his cock. That was so fucked up on so many levels. He closed his eyes and told himself that the appearance was irrelevant. It was Loki, his Loki, and he was not cheating on his boyfriend with… himself.

He frowned after a minute. “I really don’t know if I can do this, Babe. It’s weird.”

Loki pulled back and stood, rolling his eyes at Tony’s prudishness. “Come on. On the bed, now. You wouldn’t deny me my own, would you?”

Tony frowned even more at that. He didn’t want to make Loki unhappy, least of all in the bedroom, the one place where Tony had never failed anyone. But could he lie there and watch his own body… well, if the way his (Loki’s) cock jumped at the thought, it seemed that he could.

Loki gave him a shove, and he fell across the bed with a little thump, scooting back until Loki could straddle him. It was positively surreal, watching his own body climb atop him. Loki already had a bottle of lube in his hand. How the fuck long had he been planning this?

In his mind, the scenario switched to watching a porno starring himself. Loki covered his fingers with lube, and started working his body open while Tony watched. He moaned and stuck his pink tongue out to lick his lips, increasing his speed and the volume of his moans as he looked Tony directly in the eye. Bastard.

“See how easy this is, Sweet?” Loki asked in Tony’s own voice. It was strange, listening to his own voice. It sounded like a recording, the way your own voice always sounded when you had to listen to it. “Your body is always so ready for me. It wants my cock. Oh stars, Anthony, I want it…”

Without even thinking it through, he grabbed Loki’s hips, pulled them up over his groin and batted Loki’s hand away from himself. “Mine.” He ground out in Loki’s voice. “Ride me. Now.”

Loki grinned at him in that coy way he did sometimes. Somehow, it looked the same on Tony’s face. Maybe that was just wishful thinking, though. Oh fuck it, who cared?

Loki slid his ass along Tony’s cock for a moment, then pulled himself up and pushed the cock into position. He slowly lowered himself onto it, biting his lip and whimpering the whole way down. Fuck, he looked good doing that. There was no way Tony looked like that when he did this. When he bottomed out, Loki just sat there on top of him for a moment, panting.

“I said ride me, Loki.” Tony reached out and planted his long, elegant fingers on Loki’s hips, and urged him to start. “Move.”

Loki grinned down at him. “You like that, do you, you fiend? Shoving you cock into me like I’m your personal toy?”

Tony raised the same perfectly plucked eyebrow that Loki was always raising at him, and gripped Loki’s ass, pulling him up and then shoving him back down. The moan that fell from the other man’s lips was absolutely sinful. Gods, his voice was something else. Tony started pushing Loki up and down on his cock. It felt as though the other man weighed little more than a pillow or two lying atop him, and his weight was just as easy to manipulate.

Loki’s moans were quickly turning ecstatic, and Tony knew from other-side experience that he didn’t have long before Loki came from nothing more than the cock shoved into his ass. Gods, Loki was right. His mouth did fall open when he was riding cock. And those sounds he was making… Fuck.

He started shoving his hips up into Loki’s willing body, chasing the same orgasm that he knew Loki was nearing. For the first (and he hoped, only) time in his life, he watched himself orgasm. His eyes squeezed tightly shut and his mouth fell open, yelling out in his release. His cock jerked, and released strands of cum all over Loki’s creamy skin beneath him. His ass clenched around the cock inside it, and between the bizarrely wrong view and the stimulation, it shoved Tony into his own release.

Go figure, Loki’s body didn’t seem to have an automatic vocal reaction to orgasm. Tony had always wondered if he was doing something wrong, and it wasn’t as good for Loki as it was for him. But the world had faded away around him just as it always had. His whole world had focused on that single sensation, like sunshine running through him, starting at the point where his body met Loki’s. It was just as incredible, maybe even more so, and he didn’t make a peep.

Loki collapsed down onto him, and he hardly even noticed. By the time he came down completely, his own body was snoring lightly on top of him. Tony’s poor body had been through a long day, and Loki had proceeded to literally ride him to exhaustion. He gently pulled out, grabbed a tissue to give them a cursory cleaning, and then pulled the covers over them.

It may have been a waste of time he could have spent running tests on Loki’s body in his lab, but he couldn’t bring himself to give a damn. He’d rather snuggle up next to Loki than run tests any day.

It wasn’t long before he was asleep too, entwined with his own body and more relaxed than he’d been in years.

He was almost disappointed to wake up, sore and still exhausted, in his own body. Still, he snuggled up even closer to Loki and went back to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You heard me, SORE AND EXHAUSTED! :D
> 
> Don't worry, it'll be clear in the next chapter.


	9. No peaches and cream, please.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: fluff
> 
> Hope everyone likes their fluff with a side of the feels.

Tony realized the extent of his commitment issues when he punched Clint in the face.

It had started simply, with Tony wandering out of his room late one morning, whistling some sickeningly happy song that he only half knew.

It had been almost two weeks since the body-swap incident, and things had been pretty calm in the meantime. No fights, no accidents, no embarrassment, and Tony hadn’t even spent much time in the lab. He’d actually been sleeping a lot, for a change.

Barton was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cheerios. He had looked at Tony as he passed, and snorted loudly. “Look at you. Tony Stark, ruined by a crazy fucking Norse god.”

“Ruined how, Robin Hood?” He rummaged in the refrigerator for a moment before grabbing a whole container of juice, a yogurt, and some fresh pineapple. And a bagel from the counter.

Gods, he was hungry all the time lately. He’d been so worried at first that maybe somehow Loki’s voodoo magic stuff had made him pregnant despite his gender, but thank gods, it was a no. Loki had found it amusing that he’d checked, but it wasn’t the kind of thing a guy leaves to chance. Loki kept telling him it was just because he was getting a better workout lately. They _had_ been having a lot more sex...

Oh well. He wasn’t magic-pregnant, so who cared?

“ _Ruined how_?” Barton exclaimed. “Fuck! You can’t be that dumb.” Barton downed the milk left in his cereal bowl in one big gulp, and set the bowl back down, looking at Tony as though he were being deliberately obtuse.

Tony set his breakfast down on the table, and leaned on the edge. “Humor me and assume I am. What’s so different about me now, versus me a year ago?”

“You’re a besotted idiot now!” Barton pushed his bowl back and started to open his mouth again, then he stopped and grinned. “You know, it’s like when you were a kid, and your best friend got his first girlfriend. Remember that? Tony and Loki, sittin’ in a tree…”

Tony rolled his eyes and turned away. “Jesus Christ, Barton. What are you, eight?” He settled himself at the table.

Barton just kept going with the juvenile nursery rhyme. “…first comes love, then comes marriag–”

Before Tony even knew what he was doing, he had broken the other man’s nose with a particularly nasty right cross. It had even knocked Clint out of his chair. Tony hadn’t intended to hit him at all, let alone that hard. Oops.

To say that the prospect terrified Tony was putting it mildly. Everything about it was frightening. The idea of spending the rest of his life with only one person was the least of it. Before that, there were worries about kids, and money, and time, and weddings… Jesus fuck, weddings. Screw getting married, did Tony really want to have a wedding?

He knew from their meeting in Central Park that Loki wanted some kind of fairy tale if he was going to get married. He knew it was just possible that Loki would want kids. He also knew Loki was going to outlive him by several thousand years. Could he do that to Loki? Ask him to share Tony’s lifetime, and then leave him alone? What kind of man could claim to love a person, and do that to them?

And yet… Tony was just selfish enough that the thought of spending his life without Loki was too awful a thought to bear. He wasn’t sure how or when it had happened, but Loki had become an inevitability in his life.

He woke up, and Loki was smiling down at him, or asleep at his side. He came home after a meeting, and Loki was running a treadmill ragged in the gym, or watching America’s Next Top Model on TV, or reading one of his magic books.

Or waiting for him naked in the bedroom.

That one was his favorite.

Loki loved Tony like no one else ever had. Others had loved Tony without knowing about his faults, or despite them. Tony’s faults were Loki’s favorite things. Impulsivity? Check. Recklessness? Check. Obsessive behavior? Check. Occasional narcissism? Double check. (Because it wasn’t really ‘occasional’.) Loki not only loved it, he gave as good as he got. Like that time, one night after driving Tony’s favorite car a hundred and twenty miles an hour along a coast road in southern California, when Loki had dragged Tony into his bedroom, thrown him on the bed, and they’d had the best damned sex ever. They had broken the bed in Tony’s Malibu house. It had a metal frame! That shouldn’t have even been possible…

How could Tony even contemplate living without that?

But to keep it, Tony knew that he had to ‘put a ring on it’. He knew he’d have to pony up the time and effort for a goddamn princess wedding. He’d have to wear a tuxedo. Actually, he kind of liked that one. He looked damn good in a tuxedo.

So starting with the conversation (slash assault) with Clint, Tony had been obsessing. He didn’t really want to ask Loki so much as present him with a fait accompli. _Look, dear, we’re getting married. Right this minute._ It was the only way to ensure that Loki didn’t have time to remind himself that he could do better.

Was he really was going to do this? Hell yes.

Tony thought about asking Thor if there was someone he should be asking for permission, but then realized that if the Asgard were disgusted by gay sex, they probably weren’t going to be thrilled with the thought of gay marriage. He decided that he probably should run it by Thor, though, to avoid another scene at the wedding like the one in January. Tony wanted his wedding day to be happy, and his image of happy did not include Thor chasing him around with that damned hammer.

Thor was oddly charmed by the notion of Tony and Loki getting married. He suggested that the all-parents (Tony’s words, not Thor’s) be invited, but Tony thought that was a bad idea, given the… issues. Was it okay to invite Loki’s mom, but not Odin? Thor promised to discuss the situation with his mother.

Less than a week after the discussion with Thor, Tony realized what a horrible mistake that discussion had been. He was sitting in the penthouse’s central room, watching some wretched TV show that Loki had recorded and wondering where Loki was, when the birdbrain had walked in.

“Wassup, Legolas?” Tony asked, grabbing a handful of popcorn out of the bowl in his lap. This crappy show would be better if he was snuggled up with Loki.

Barton leaned down and grabbed some of Tony’s popcorn. Tony refrained from breaking his nose again. There was still a slight black eye from the first time. “I hear you’re making an honest woman of our resident lunatic.” They all seemed to think that Tony was completely in charge of the relationship, and for some reason, Loki was perfectly willing to let them think that.

“Where’d ya hear that?” Tony subtly moved the bowl further down his lap. Loki’d be pissed if there was none left for him.

Barton shrugged, eating from the kernels he’d taken. “Y’know. Thor. He’s pretty excited. Says something about Odin coming down for it.”

“Goddamn it, I told him that one-eyed bastard wasn’t welcome at my wedding.” Tony grumbled, then grabbed the remote to fast forward through the commercials. He wasn’t sure why he was doing that. Habit, maybe. Loki didn’t like commercials.

“So who’s gonna be the bride?” Barton flipped another kernel into his mouth, relaxed and calm, like he hadn’t just said something that made Tony want to break his nose again even more. “Stupid question, I know. The real question should be about how you’re going to get him fitted for a white dress without telling him you’re getting married. Cause, and this is just a wild guess here, you haven’t even told him that you’re planning a wedding yet.”

“And what the hell would you know about that?” Tony growled at him, trying hard not to picture Loki in a white dress. Damn, he’d look fucking amazing… but no. They were going to wear whatever the hell they wanted. Fuck tradition and such bullshit. Part of him wanted Loki to wear that armor he’d been wearing when they first met, complete with giant gold helmet.

“Oh, you know. I’m just pretty sure that the little woman would be a lot more excited if she knew you were planning to tie on the old ball and chain for her.” Clint tossed another piece of the popcorn from his hand into his mouth.

Tony leaned down and set the popcorn bowl on the coffee table, and then looked back at Barton. “First of all, he’s a guy. Don’t fucking call him ‘she’. Second, ‘tie on the old ball and chain’ doesn’t make any damned sense. Third… fuck off.”

“Ooooh, strong start there, Tony, but you flubbed the landing.” Barton grinned down at him. “I gotta make the required half point deduction for that. So… what, nine point two, nine point three? Not bad, but it’s not going to win you a medal.”

The elevator door dinged and Tony looked over, praying that it wasn’t Loki, and that Barton wasn’t about to out him for making plans without Loki’s approval. Thankfully, it was Romanov.

Tony breathed out slowly. “Good to see you, Red. Could you get your pet parrot out of here before I have to pop him another one?”

Natasha looked at Clint hard, turning one corner of her mouth down. “You didn’t learn your lesson the first time?”

The archer grinned at her. “I took a couple beatings from you before you came around to my way of thinking, Nat. Why would Stark be any different?”

“And what are you bothering him about? It wouldn’t happen to be the exact same thing that he hit you for last time, would it?” She looked dubiously at her friend, tapping the toe of one of her sharp-heeled black boots on the floor.

If the man grinned any harder, he was either going to turn into Loki, or his face was going to crack open. “Now Nat, why would you say a thing like that? You don’t think our pal Tony’s afraid of a little commitment, do ya?”

She sighed, and hurriedly walked over to where Tony and Clint were. Stopping only to grab Barton’s arm, she pulled him away forcefully. “Sorry for him, Tony. He can’t help being a bit of an ass. Congratulations, by the way.”

“Fuck! Did Thor tell everyone?” Tony was going to kill the big blond bastard.

She looked at him sympathetically, and nodded. “I’m really sorry, Tony. He was having a really loud conversation with Steve about it in the gym. I guess the good news is that he’s over the whole ‘gay sex is evil’ thing. He’s going on about convincing Odin that it’s a great thing, and having some giant golden wedding in Asgard.”

When they got to the elevator, she quietly berated Barton for a full minute, as though Tony couldn’t hear every word she whispered about how Tony’s situation was going to be hard enough without Clint adding to it. When the elevator arrived, she added more loudly “at least Loki didn’t seem too offended.”

WHAT?

But even as Tony was jumping off the couch and spinning to face them, they were already climbing into the elevator.

And Loki was coming out, looking too serious by half.

The elevator closed behind him, and Loki looked up to the ceiling. “Jarvis, lock the penthouse, please. No one up until we say otherwise. And no communications from anyone.”

“Yes, Sir. Shall I mute myself entirely?” Jarvis’ brisk efficient voice came immediately. Tony could swear Jarvis liked Loki better than him some days. Particularly since the body-swap incident, which was odd.

Loki shook his head. “Not necessary, Jarvis. I trust you to know whether you need to interrupt us or not.”

It probably didn’t help that Tony sometimes wondered if Loki liked Jarvis better than him, too. What wasn’t to love about Jarvis? Or Loki? Fuck, what if they left him for each other? He wouldn’t put it past Loki to make Jarvis human, and after Loki finding out about the whole wedding thing like this… Shit.

“What is that ridiculous look on your face, Anthony?”

“Huh?” was Tony’s enlightened answer.

“The look,” Loki motioned, “on your face. It’s horrified, and confused and sad, all at once.”

“Oh that.” Tony paused, intending to continue, but couldn’t find the words. What were you supposed to say when your boyfriend finds out that you were planning his wedding without him?

Loki leaned against the back of the couch and waited a moment. “Shall I at least presume that we are both discussing the same thing?”

Tony nodded, still trying to force words out of his mouth. Any words, really. Anything would be better than standing there staring at Loki like an idiot. “So, you wanna watch your show?” Okay, almost anything would have been better.

“You don’t think we have more important things to do?” Loki’s voice was a little quieter than usual, and he wasn’t smiling. Tony hated that. He hated when Loki wasn’t smiling, and he hated that he was the reason for it.

“I… I was gonna tell you, I swear.” Tony hedged, waiting to see how much Loki might know. He hadn’t given Thor a date, had he? Maybe Loki would just think he was discussing the distant future. “I was just waiting for the right time.”

Loki quirked his sexy eyebrow. “And would that be before or after July?”

Fuck. He had given Thor a date.

Loki stopped, and an odd expression crossed his face. He shook his head as though to clear it, and motioned to the couch. “We will speak.”

“We… okay.” Oh hell. That pensive concerned expression could only mean one thing. It was the same look everyone wore when they told Tony that it was over. It was sort of sad and apologetic, and full of attempted sympathy.

They sat down across from each other on the sofa, and the room was silent for a moment. Tony had paused the television, and it sat still on a shot of some orange skinned woman in a leopard print camisole and fuchsia lipstick. Great. Now whenever he thought of Loki, he’d have an image of that in his head, because it had been what he was staring at when Loki finally left him. Nine months. Nine months of sleeping together, and eating together, and hanging out in Tony’s room talking about nothing because they liked talking to each other – or he had thought they did – and Loki was walking away because he had crossed one tiny stupid arbitrary line.

_Don’t plan a wedding without telling me first, Tony._ He wished someone had fucking told him it was going to be like this. He wouldn’t have done it, he’d have-

“I’ve been keeping something from you.” Loki said the words like they were sitting in his mouth, and he had to spit them out because they tasted terrible.

“ _No, really?”_ Tony gasped in mock horror. “I mean, you, the guy people call the God of Lies, keeping things from me?” Seriously. Didn’t Loki realize that Tony knew and accepted him for what he was by now?

“Do not make light, Anthony. This is important.” Loki was staring at the couch. It was rather reminiscent of Tony staring at the TV because he couldn’t bring himself to look Loki in the eye.

“What is it, Loki? You know you can tell me things.” Tony reached out unconsciously, trying to put his hand on Loki. Loki pulled back before he even got close. That stung.

“Don’t. Don’t do that.” Loki shook his head again, more emphatically. “Don’t forgive me when you don’t know what I’ve done. You’re going to be angry with me. I thought I was prepared for that; thought I could handle you avoiding me for a few decades while you settled. It’s harder than I expected.”

Buh? “Um, Lokes, I don’t really have time to avoid you for a few decades. I…” Tony couldn’t think of a good way around it, so he just said it. “You know I’m gonna be dead in a few decades, right?”

If anything, Loki looked even more downtrodden. Well that made sense, actually. If he thought this was going to piss Tony off for ‘a few decades’, it meant that this was it. This was the last time they would sit across from each other, and be _together_. He might not even see Loki again at all. He swiped at his eyes with the back of a hand.

He wasn’t going to lie, though. As much as he wanted to say that it would be fine no matter what it was, he couldn’t. If Loki was working with Doom, or killing people, or plotting world domination again, Tony couldn’t be okay with that.

“No,” Loki said, taking Tony by surprise. Wait, ‘no’ what? “You aren’t going to be dead in a few decades.”

Tony sighed. “I get it, Loki. Trust me, I do. I’ve spent a lot of time in the last few weeks thinking about what I’d do if I had to live without… But that’s not important. The thing is that I’m not going to live for however long it is that you’re going to live.”

Loki’s hand was suddenly pressed softly against his mouth. “Anthony, please. Let me finish.” He took a deep breath and started again. “You aren’t going to be dead in a few decades, because I made certain of it.”

“Mmh?” Tony tried to ask through Loki’s hand. He wasn’t easily confused, but how does one make certain that a person isn’t going to die? Magic? Was there a life-extending spell, or something?

Loki sighed and hung his head. “When I switched our bodies. I… You remember the apple?”

Tony had to think about it for a moment. Apple. Right. Yes, he remembered that. So what? His confusion must have shown in his eyes, because Loki nodded reassuringly.

“It was from a… well, a rather particular orchard in Asgard.” Loki’s words were hesitant, but he seemed determined to get them out. “They’re unique, as far as apples go.”

Taking Loki’s hand from his mouth, Tony prompted, “unique?”

“They grant immortality. Or rather, they alter your physiology, making you more closely resemble an Asgardian. When your body has finished the change, you’ll live another few thousand years.” Another few thousand… Loki must have seen Tony’s astonishment, because he leapt into the silence with more words, these ones rushed. “You needn’t worry about ending up like Thor. One apple isn’t going to change you that much. You would need to eat a lot more apples before you started accidentally breaking buildings.” Loki was holding Tony’s hand now, in such a tight grip that it was a wonder nothing was cracking.

That was when Tony’s mouth fell open. “That’s how I broke Barton’s nose. You… you... _appled_ me!”

Loki winced, but nodded. “An effective enough way of putting it. It isn’t done yet. Your body is still trying to add enough mass to finish the transition.”

“That’s why I’ve been eating everything in sight? Fuck, Lokes, you let me worry that I was pregnant or something!” It seemed odd to Tony that the imaginary pregnancy scare was the first thing he found to be irritated about. Loki had made a major life choice on his behalf, and forced it on him without even asking if… shit. Goddamn it.

“I did tell you that there was no way for _me_ to impregnate _you_ , Anthony. There was no reason to worry about that.” There was no reproach in Loki’s voice, just amusement. And sadness.

Tony frowned. “So why are you telling me this?” Wasn’t it about Tony forcing Loki into a wedding without asking first?

There was a long (dare he call it… pregnant?) pause before Loki spoke again. “Thor was boasting about your intentions to tie yourself to me for the rest of your life, Anthony. You needed to know what I’ve done to you before even considering such a thing.”

The utter ridiculousness of the situation struck Tony between the eyes, suddenly.

Loki had made him immortal, and he was worried that Tony was going to be pissed about it. Tony was planning a wedding, and he was worried Loki was going to be pissed about it. Hadn’t they both realized by now that each knew who the other was? They were going to keep doing stupid, irresponsible, reckless things that would drive anyone else away. Tony knew that Loki wasn’t ever going to stop being Loki. So why did he keep thinking that Loki was going to expect Tony to change himself?

“I’ve been planning a wedding in July. I want us to get married, and I thought you might not approve, so I didn’t tell you.” Tony put it as plainly as he could.

Loki tried, and failed, to keep a straight face. “You didn’t think I would notice?”

Tony frowned. “The wedding, or the planning?”

“Both, Anthony. You have a ‘cake consultant’. The woman has brought cake to the tower every day for a week now. She keeps asking me which I like best, as though anyone would want cake that is not chocolate.” Loki shook his head. “You aren’t nearly as subtle as you think, Love. It just didn’t all come together for me until I heard Thor talking about it.”

“And that was when you decided to tell me about the choice that you made for me.” Tony tried to keep the smile off his face. “The one you thought you could hide, despite my sudden need to eat everything in the tower and ability to knock Barton down?”

Loki hesitated. “You aren’t angry with me? You don’t want me to go?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Are you angry with me? Do you want to go?”

“Please refrain from being ridiculous, Anthony. I knew what I was getting myself into when we started this. Getting angry with you for acting like yourself would be both foolish and rude…” Tony saw the exact moment that Loki shared his epiphany. His voice became very small suddenly. “Oh.”

Tony thought there might be tears in Loki’s eyes. It’s wasn’t like Tony could say anything about it. Given the general blurriness of the room, he thought it possible that there were tears in his eyes too. “Yeah?”

Loki nodded.

“So marry me in July, huh?” Tony didn’t trust his voice to get further than that without cracking, so he stopped there.

“I think I will.” Loki was smiling, and it was the most beautiful thing Tony had ever seen. “But you have to make the cake chocolate, and I draw the line at wearing a dress.”

Tony grinned, “Chocolate it is.” Then he wiggled his eyebrows at Loki. “And no dress for the ceremony is fine by me, but you _could_ wear one on our wedding night….”


	10. Actual A+ Husbanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: free for all

Naturally, Natasha was the first one to point out the common-sense problem with their plans.

Tony didn’t know if the others just hadn’t considered it, or if they’d been keeping diplomatically (and stupidly) silent, but he wasn’t surprised that she was the one to say something.

They were all sitting around eating pizza after fighting off some lame villain-of-the-week, and she looked Tony square in the eye and asked, “So, when are you two coming out of the closet? Before or during the wedding?”

“What has a closet to do with the wedding, Lady Natasha?” Thor asked conversationally.

Loki rolled his eyes. “It has nothing to do with an actual closet, Thor. It is a Midgardian colloquialism that refers to people who find their own gender attractive, but do not inform others of that fact.”

Cap cocked his head one way, and then the other. “You know, I think the whole ‘closet’ analogy is easier to understand than the actual definition.” He reached for another slice of pizza. “Does it really make a difference, though? I mean, they’re legally allowed to get married. People today are really open minded. Do you think anyone cares?”

The only response Natasha gave was an unladylike snort. It was what Tony had always liked about her, even when he found out that she’d been lying to him about everything. She had never been one to go out of her way to appear dainty or feminine. She trusted that she was feminine, and that was enough for her. It was plenty.

Barton, on the other hand, had more input. Well, he had input once he finished laughing, much to Cap’s confusion. “Um, yeah. It’s all sunshine and unicorns for gay people nowadays. They don’t get harassed, or threatened, or anything like that.”

“Huh?” While Cap had come a long way in his acclimation to the modern world, he still missed some things. Mostly, they were things that didn’t make sense, so Tony had a hard time thinking of him as foolish or ignorant for it.

It was sort of like how women’s magazines advertised makeup on one page, and then insisted that women didn’t need makeup on the next. How was anyone supposed to understand that shit?

No, Tony did not read women’s magazines. Much.

Hey, no judging! He had to plan a whole damned wedding. It wasn’t his fault that wedding magazines were geared toward women. Plus those quizzes were hilarious. Especially the one that had told Tony that he’d found prince charming. He’d laughed about that for far longer than Loki thought was appropriate.

The subject at hand was a question that he’d been thinking about for some time, though: ‘coming out’, and all that nonsense. He hadn’t ever asked Loki about his other sexual preferences. He knew that he personally wasn’t gay, but he knew that didn’t matter to the people who would be offended when it came out that he was marrying a man. Also, he didn’t care too much about their opinions. He wasn’t sure why labels were so important, anyway.

So he’d decided that he wasn’t ‘coming out’, as such. He was just going to say that he was marrying the love of his life, and let people make of it what they would. Pepper was going to kill him, and it was probably a prime example of Tony not thinking things through, but he didn’t see why he had to classify himself to make other people happy.

He was with Loki. They were happy. They weren’t breaking any laws. Why did anything else matter?

Loki was frowning, though. “Is this going to be important, Anthony? Are people going to make trouble for us?”

Dammit. “No one can stop us from getting married. Some people just don’t like men being in love with each other.”

“Why not?” Loki looked irritated, and the last thing anyone needed was an irritated Loki.

“Perhaps they are merely ignorant, Brother, as I was. I can explain it to them!” Thor was already moving to stand, as though he was going to head right out and start booming at people in the street about his gay brother and how men loving each other was a beautiful thing.

This reassurance only got a glare from Loki and a hand motion that eloquently said _sit down and shut the hell up_. “Anthony, is this something we should address now?”

For the first time since he’d learned of their affair almost a year earlier, Bruce spoke up in relation to something Loki-and-Tony related. “Yes. You should. But it won’t make it easier if you do.”

Given their unfortunate initial meeting, and Bruce’s continuing silent support over the previous year, Loki had a healthy respect for both Hulk and Doctor. He sat back and put his feet in Tony’s lap. “Please, Doctor, do explain.”

“Nothing’s going to make it easier, or better. It’s going to be what it’s going to be. Crazy people are going to say you’re an abomination. You’ll get death threats, and hate mail, and people will picket SI headquarters.”

Cap’s eyes had gone wider at each addition. “I thought things had changed more than that…” His voice sounded sadder than usual. Tony kind of wanted to pat him on the head and remind him that he wasn’t the one who was going to be threatened, but he didn’t think it would help. Cap would probably prefer if he was the one getting threatened.

“Things have changed,” Bruce answered the unspoken question. “But they’re not finished changing yet. And Loki and Tony have an opportunity to be a part of the change. The more public figures there are who don’t treat homosexuality like something that needs to be hidden, the faster things change.”

Loki was leaning slightly toward Bruce, hanging on every word. Tony sighed. Well, at least he knew the answer to Natasha’s question. “So you’re saying that I should tell everyone now, and let them protest at the wedding?”

“Sure,” Bruce nodded. “You know we won’t let them anywhere near you two on your day. And the more chances people like that have to make fools of themselves, the more people see that the rational side of the debate is for freedom.” He was standing, suddenly, as though the impending protest was making him antsy.

“I didn’t know you felt so strongly about this, Doctor Banner.” Natasha was looking at him with a mildly surprised expression. For her, this was utter shock.

Bruce blushed a bit and shrugged. “I… I guess I know what it feels like to have people judge you for something you can’t control.” He sat back down, awkwardly, staring at his feet.

Well fuck that.

Loki wasn’t the only one who was all in, suddenly. Tony wasn’t going to have that look on Bruce’s face and not do something about it. He put down his beer and took one of Loki’s feet in hand, kneading the small muscles of his instep. They shared a look, and Loki nodded.

“Okay.” Tony said, with all the formality pizza and beer with friends required. “We’ll announce the wedding tomorrow. You know those crazy fuckers from _that_ church are going to picket our wedding now, right?”

Bruce frowned, and started to open his mouth.

Loki cut him off. “Sounds like fun. Should we go on television?”

“You mean like an interview?” Cap seemed to be thinking out loud. “We could all do it, just, you know, to show solidarity.”

Loki frowned at the idea of sharing his spotlight with anyone, and knowing what he was thinking made Tony grin like a fool. That was his diva. He squeezed Loki’s foot. “Babe, I know you want to make a big thing of this, but… I think Bruce is right.”

“What do you mean?” Loki looked over at him curiously.

“If we act like drama queens, the bad guys get what they want.” Setting his beer down, he leaned back and massaged Loki’s foot with more focus. “So as much as I hate to say it, we have to be the adults about this.”

Natasha nodded. “You make the announcement through the usual SI channels, like you would if you were marrying anyone else. You let them make it a big deal. Once you agree with their implication that you’re different from any other couple getting married, you’ve already lost the argument.”

So they all agreed to treat it with no particular ceremony. It was a wedding, and that was it.

As unhappy as Pepper was about making the announcement, she did it. She couldn’t deny that it was one of the most responsible things Tony had ever done. He didn’t bother telling her that it had been someone else’s idea. Let her think that Loki was inciting adult attitudes in him.

There wasn’t really any doubt about when exactly the announcement broke. They were sitting around the tower’s common room the next day playing cards when everyone’s phone started ringing within thirty seconds of each other. One by one, they turned their phones off and went back to playing.

Tony got so used to saying ‘if you’re looking for a statement, you can contact Stark Industries’ PR department’ over the next few weeks that he wondered if he was saying it in his sleep.

It did not please Loki at all, being forced to keep his mouth shut. Tony could just see the trickster in his future husband itching to do something, anything, to point out how idiotic the whole thing was. Tony couldn’t blame him. They were getting married. Why weren’t they allowed to act like it was a big deal? It was a big fucking deal.

He knew that they were being protected from the worst of the backlash, Loki even more so than him. Not that anyone thought Loki needed protecting; it was more to keep Loki from killing anyone than to protect him.

Loki was shockingly well behaved throughout June, though, not doing or saying anything that might be taken out of context or splashed across the internet as justification for hating him.

Still, Tony couldn’t say it surprised him at all when Loki showed up at the wedding in the previously dismissed white dress. What did surprise him was Loki’s female form. His blue female form.

Trust Loki to come up with something that said ‘fuck you’ better than words ever could. Not only was Tony not marrying a man, the pictures would silently inform the world; Tony wasn’t even marrying a human.

And fuck, but if his Loki wasn’t the most gorgeous blue diva of a bride ever, Tony couldn’t imagine how anyone could be better. It was the perfect dress to show off the abnormally feminine form, and the white was such a beautiful contrast to the blue of his skin that it was impossible to look away.

Or maybe it was just Tony. It didn’t really matter, though, because he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Thor led him to where Tony stood waiting, and passed his arm to Tony. Loki smiled his brainfuck smile, and Tony couldn’t help it, he broke the seriousness of the moment as only Tony Stark could.

“Fuck, you look amazing, Lokes.” Tony wrapped a hand around one side of his stunning bride’s waist and pulled him in for a kiss, and he could feel the dopey grin on his face when they parted.

“Not so bad yourself, Sweet.” Loki winked at him as he whispered. “You do look nice in Midgardian formal attire.” His hands slipped around Tony and squeezed his ass tight. Tony doubted anyone else would know that it was as much a sign of nerves as affection, but Loki didn’t really like people being able to read him so it was just as well.

The official who was marrying them cleared his throat for attention, and Clint deliberately coughed and muttered something about how kissing was supposed to come after the ceremony, and in a place where he didn’t have to see it.

They held the tiny wedding ceremony in a little roped-off part of Central Park, and if no one but Loki and Tony understood why, they didn’t complain either.

The reception was at the tower, and Tony was more than happy to follow Loki’s lead and ignore all tradition and protocol. Standing around shaking everyone’s hand had sounded fucking boring. He’d asked that they not bring gifts, after all. He didn’t owe anyone a damned thing.

Tony had relented in the end and invited both Odin and Frigga to the wedding, for two reasons. First, he couldn’t have actually stopped them if he’d wanted to and it would have caused strife if he’d tried. And second, Frigga wouldn’t come without her husband. Since Loki had wanted his mother, he’d gotten the package deal.

Thor had promised to keep his father on the straight and narrow, though, and he had been told repeatedly that the ‘all-father’ needed to be reminded that Earth was not under his rule and wasn’t allowed to act the part of ruler while visiting. It didn’t stop the imperious bastard from acting arrogant and superior, but at least he knew that here, he wasn’t king of anything.

It probably helped Tony’s good mood, in fact, that Odin was obviously a little disturbed by Loki’s chosen form of the day. In fact, he had frowned when he’d seen his adopted son’s appearance for the first time. It was probably the most emotion Tony had seen out of him, despite Thor’s assurances that his father could be ‘quite emotional, when the situation called for it.’ Tony had a suspicion that Odin being emotional mostly involved yelling or killing things.

Odin stood slightly behind his wife, as though he needed her protection from his adopted son. He just nodded to Loki and Tony as they walked in. Well, Tony assumed that it was partially for Loki, though Odin had glued his eyes to Tony and avoided his own son’s gaze.

Frigga, on the other hand, was absolutely thrilled. She threw her arms around Loki and Tony had caught something about “My baby getting married,” though it was hard to tell with her face buried in Loki’s shoulder.

Even more than at the wedding ceremony, Loki beamed. “It’s good to see you too, mother.”

Okay, Tony didn’t feel so annoyed by Odin’s presence, if Frigga made Loki that happy.

After a moment, she’d disentangled herself from Loki’s arms and looked at Tony. “So you’re the man that my baby deemed worthy enough to finally get married.”

“He must be more impressive than he looks,” Odin muttered quietly behind her.

Loki’s smile slipped for a second, then its less-than-genuine sister came back at full brilliance. “Oh, he is _all-father_ ," he said, and Tony could actually hear how he didn't capitalize the title out of disrespect, "would you like to see the video footage? He’s positively _masterful_.” Anyone who couldn’t hear the sexual innuendo in the statement was either deaf, or Thor.

“Indeed, All-Father!" Thor’s booming voice drowned out all side conversations. "The man of iron is one of the finest warriors Midgard has to offer. He single-handedly saved this entire city from certain destruction!”

Tony raised an eyebrow and looked at him, only to realize that there was a surprisingly calculated look on his face. Hm. Change the subject, distract Loki from his anger, _and_ make Tony look good. Sometimes, Thor was cleverer than Tony gave him credit for.

Not wanting to take a chance that Odin would decide to say something else rude, Tony used the brief lull in conversation to excuse the two of them. “Lovely that you could come, but I think that Loki and I need to go get a drink. Nice meeting you, Loki’s Mom, and we’ll have to arrange for you to come visit for more than an afternoon sometime.”

And drink Tony did. Every time he turned around, there was a glaring one-eyed bastard trying to stare him down, and it gave him the uncontrollable urge to hold his glass out to a member of the waitstaff and request another. Tony hadn’t ever been easy to get drunk, but after six… seven? Refills on his scotch and water, as far as any onlookers could tell, he appeared to have lost control of his mouth.

“Yeah,” he found himself saying to some woman he hardly knew, “we’re gonna have lots of lil’ blue babies. They’re gonna be fuckin’ gorgeous, just like their Mom.”

Loki’s arm tightened around his waist, and he wondered if his tongue had wandered too far for Loki’s liking.

“Everything okay, Babe?” He looked over at Loki and saw what was causing the distress. Odin. Motherfucker was coming at them. Tony wondered if he should introduce Odin to Fury, or if the sheer amount of asshole in so small a space would reach critical mass and cause the universe to explode. Or even more terrifying, that the two of them would _like_ each other. Tony shuddered.

Loki nodded. “Indeed.”

Odin seemed to know just how to piss Tony off, and even more, he seemed determined to do it. He stood just a little too close, where he knew Tony would have to tilt his head back to look him in the eye. He gave a disgusted glance at first Tony’s scotch, and then far more insultingly, at Loki. Fucker eyed Loki and then dismissed him as though it wasn’t worth the effort to worry about him.

“My son has indicated that for a Midgardian, you are considered quite intelligent.” Odin said conversationally, as though his mere presence wasn’t bad enough and he needed to add an insult to his already irritating existence. Had he honestly just walked over to try to bait Loki into doing something bad? Because Tony couldn’t see another reason for him to be there, saying things like that.

“Yeah.” He responded with a grin. “S’how I talked Frigga’s son into marryin’ me. An’ lemme tell you, I got lucky. Nobody’s got a better husban’ than me.”

Loki blushed under the scrutiny and compliment. “Really, Anthony… That’s completely unnecessary.”

Odin opened his mouth as though to agree, and Tony interrupted before he could say anything. “Tha’s not true. My husban’ should hear how lucky I am e’ry day. Cause b’fore now, he only had his momma to tell ‘im things like that.” He leaned up and kissed Loki on the nose and winked at him as he pulled back.

Loki blushed even more, but seeing what Tony was up to, kept his mouth shut.

“Tha’ remin’s me, Ol’ One Eye, I been meanin’ to thank you.” Odin frowned, but didn’t interrupt, so Tony took is as implicit acceptance. “See, I figure if Loki’d been happy in Asgard, I wouldn’ be married now. So thanks.”

Loki took the half-glass of scotch from Tony’s hand and swallowed the rest of it. “You’ll have to forgive Anthony, _all-father_. He seems to have gone a bit heavy on the scotch today. Midgardian constitution and all that, you know.” He excused Tony effortlessly, as though they’d been married for a decade, and it was old hat. He smiled winningly at Odin, and Tony suspected that he was the only person in the room who knew that the smile wasn’t forced at all. Loki was suddenly quite enjoying the exchange.

Loki was probably also the only person in the room who realized that Tony wasn’t even tipsy. Six or seven drinks meant pretty much nothing to his recently augmented physiology. He lay his head on Loki’s shoulder and stared lovingly up at his beautiful face.

“I never imagined that you would be pleased with a… _man_ … with such weaknesses, Loki.” Odin sounded disgusted, and Tony absently wondered if he had to make an effort to sound that way, or if he had some vocal version of resting bitchface.

Loki smiled serenely. “I assure you, Odin, I am quite pleased with every aspect of Anthony.” He wrapped his own arm around Tony’s back before continuing, “He is the first man in all my years of life who chose me, not as a tool or a burden, but because he loves me.”

“Who wouldn’ love you, beautiful?” Tony closed his eyes and grinned. Now for the really fun part. “I think we should name our first son Loki.”

Loki moved slightly under his head, turning toward him with shock painted on his face. “Don’t be ridiculous, Anthony. We’ll name him after his father. Anthony Stark Junior.”

Tony pretended to be deep in thought for a moment and then shook his head decisively. “How ‘bout Fenrir? I like that one. But lemme tell you,” he rounded on Odin with his best glower, poking the air between them with his index finger, “anybody who tries ta hurt my boy ‘s gettin’ his ass kicked, half blind ‘r not.”

Slipping an arm all the way around his waist, Loki smiled faux-apologetically at Odin, and then turned to Tony. “No need to worry about such things, my love. I’m quite certain that with a father like you, our children will be quite safe.” He looked back up and Odin briefly, then turned his back and started to lead Tony away before adding, “And _loved_.”

Pretending slight embarrassment, Loki went to the Captain and told him that Tony had imbibed too much and needed to be put to bed. The Captain frowned at Tony, but nodded. He congratulated Loki one more time, and promised to make their excuses.

Once the elevator doors closed behind them, Loki pushed Tony into the back wall and dropped to his knees breathlessly. “I think trickery on that level deserves a little reward, my love.”

“Not that I’m going to turn that down, but fuck, that was fun.” Tony watched his husband undo his zipper and reach a strangely feminine hand into his pants. “Um, Babe? You don’t want to change back into… you?”

“Does this form make you uncomfortable?” Loki looked up at him with a serious expression.

Tony actually took a moment to consider the question, making sure that his motives were really what he thought they were. He was quite pleased to find that they were. “No, just figured you’d want to be yourself. That’s who I married you for, after all.”

Loki leaned his head forward and just rested it on Tony’s thigh. “Yes,” he whispered after a moment. “You did, didn’t you?” A moment later, Loki was Loki again, and wearing all that sexy green and gold armor, looking up at Tony with loving eyes.

“Of course, Loki.” He shook his head and pulled Loki’s hand from his groin, then pulled his husband to his feet. “Why would I want anyone else when I can have you? Now come on. Time for me to ravish my beautiful bride. Or, you know, let him ravish me.”

“I love you, Anthony.” Loki looked a little teary. “I never imagined when this started that a year later we’d be getting married.”

“I love you, Loki.” Tony grinned back at him. “Happy July. Now let's go, there's a pile of ice melting in our tub with our name on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all, folks. Frostiron Month is complete, and I'm just going to go ahead and say that they lived happily ever after. As happily ever after goes, and by my experience, that usually involves some arguments, some imperfection, and lots of fabulous makeup sex.
> 
> I know, no happy Odin feels. Frankly, you're pretty unlikely to see a truly nice Odin in anything I write. I have adopted daddy issues, and Odin smacks them all right in the face. Sorry if it bothers anyone.


End file.
